2 Weeks post-partum

Our first cuddle & our first night at home

So Athena has been with us for just over two weeks now, and I can't put her down! We've gone through our first growth spurt (my poor boobs!) but have only had one real night of broken sleep so far, which was also down to the growth spurt on day 14, but since then we've gone back to one or no feeds between 1am (bedtime) and 8am, hurrah! I'll do a fuller post on our 'routine' (so to speak) soon.

Breast feeding so far hasn't been half as hard as I thought it could be, however things change so it still could get difficult in the future! I'm under no illusions there! We had a couple of day of cracked nipples and pained faces (me not her!) but then we got used to it and can pretty much do it in our sleep! (Literally!) again, I'll do another post on this in a few weeks! The biggest problem is what to wear out in public that enables me to whip a tit out to feed her! At home we're mostly topless, much to the delight/horror of the people who sit outside the pub opposite and the top deck passengers of any passing bus!

In terms of my post Partum body, the stretch marks that arrived a week and a half before she did haven't gone, which is annoying (annoying I got them in the first place after getting away with none for so long!) but to be frank I don't wander round in belly revealing clothes so if they don't go it's not too big a deal! I have an amusing X shaped one right where my belly button piercing was! I still have a belly, but it has gone down a lot since the first week, and I've not bothered to weigh myself since I had her so no idea how much I've lost, but I think the swollen legs/feet and arms probably equated to a fair bit!

 

a week old / first bath / first experience of grass (ish)

I'm able to go out and about with no problems after my c section, we first went for a walk on day 4 (I was let out of hospital on day 1) and we've tried to go out at least every other day, with the only issue being a bit of blood loss on days when I've overdone it a bit! My scar I thought was healing well but this morning I seem to have popped a stitch or something, although its hurting a lot less now that it was so perhaps something was just rubbing on it in bed, making it a bit gunky (sorry!) if it persists I'll go to the doctor to have it looked at as I don't want it to get infected! It's hard to let air get to it when you have to wear big pants so
they don't rub it!

That's about it for now, I'm working on a 'birth story' post too, but obviously Athena is my top priority so my laptop isn't on as much as it was! When I learn  to put her down for all naps and not just her long morning one it'll be on a bit more and I'll get back into a blogging routine!

Pregnancy update week 30

 

I’m a week and a bit late with this update if I'm going by my every 4 weeks rule, but seeing as I set the rule I figure I can break it… Wednesday marks the start of the 31st week of being up le duff, or 30 weeks and zilch days if we go by the midwife countdown…

here’s the low down…

Sleeping/Energy Levels – My last blood tests revealed I have low iron levels, which explains the on-going tiredness, though the last trimester is more tiring than the middle one anyway which makes sense. I wanted to avoid having to take iron tablets on prescription as they play merry havoc with IBS from previous experience (both me and my mum regularly go through anaemic phases so I’ve had them in the past and they do strange things to your bowels/droppings!) instead I am eating lots of green veg and red meat.

Peeing – still piddling a lot, and managing to expel about 5x more liquid that I ingest. How is that even possible? I have also (TMI coming up…) had to start wearing party-liners daily as a couple of severe sneezes/coughing fits have resulted in slight leakage (I was mortified but apparently it happens to almost everyone and if they say it didn't they're lying!)

Acid reflux/heartburn – on and off, sometimes I will have eaten nothing for hours, and wake up with it really badly and need to find some rennies STAT in an attempt to clear it up!

Back/Hip Pain – In all honesty I would have to say that the pain hasn't got worse, although it may just be that I am learning to live with it! My fancy new ergonomic high backed desk chair at work has helped, plus the fact that I have attempting to walk for at least half an hour a day.

Stretch Marks/Skin- still no stretch marks, still lathering on various creams and potions when I remember, and no linea nigra yet either. Belly button has NOT stuck out at any point… though maybe this is because it’s dead from having two different piercings (I took them out when I got pregnant) and a scar from my appendectomy in it. But I'm pleased because it freaks me out when they poke out. Facially my hormonal spots have pretty much cleared up too!

Headaches – hardly any since the last update, I've only had to take tablets for it once.

Cramps – more ‘restless leg syndrome’ than ever, coupled with 3 bouts this week of excruciating pain in my left calve. Picture this, you’re happily asleep, then suddenly your calve muscle tenses up in a MAJOR way and you wake up wanting to scream but you can’t because your husband only got into bed and fell asleep after a 16 hour shift an hour ago and it would be mean. You then lie there for 15 minutes trying to clench and un clench your toes in a vain attempt for the muscle to contract and go back to normal. THEN you have trouble putting all your weight on your leg when you need to go to the toilet and promptly fall over when you get out of bed, and wake the husband up. OH, and I've also had some very bizarre crotch-area cramps this week, like shooting pains in the vag, not pleasant!

Movement – almost had a dangerous spillage when sprog did a major kick/flip knocking a bottle of nail varnish off the bump, but luckily the lid was still semi screwed on, phew! Sprog loves to wiggle about in the bath too.

Size – I have put on just under 2 stone, and the midwife says this is absolutely nothing to worry about, as the ‘average’ (ie if you were of a normal BMI when you got pregnant) person should put on around 2.5 stone overall. I think my legs are a bit chunkier, but people have said that facially I don’t look any bigger, which is a bonus, to be honest I'm not watching what I eat at all, so I'm surprised I am not looking like a beached whale.

Hair/Skin – hair is growing at rapunzel type speed, which is good. It also seems a lot shinier than normal, which is awesome. In other hair related news, I have purchased a ladyshave type device as I can no longer see my hoo-hoo, and shaving with a regular razor in the shower was getting dangerous. I figure this will be easier to use when I attempt to ‘neaten’ certain bits in preparation for the hospital (and then a lot quicker and less dangerous when I am attempting to shower between naps post birth!)

Cravings – nothing! dull eh. I am eating a lot of sweet things though.

Swelling – nothing yet, shoes still fit, ankles still look like they did before, wedding ring still fit too.

Mood – No major mood  swings (lucky for Sam eh!) but a number of various anxieties that I am not going to share here, perhaps at a later date but for now I'm seeing my MW with more regularity than normal, and saw my GP this week about it too.

No other symptoms that I can think of, and with ten and a half weeks to go till D-day I’m hoping that nothing gets too bad! We’ve got a week away planned at the end of April with friends in Cornwall, and as long as I can drive there and back okay I don’t really mind if I'm too round to do anything as we’ve hired a gorgeous barn conversion and I'll happily spend the week reading/dozing/chatting with friends. I still haven't made a decision on when to stop working, mainly because I don’t know who is covering for me when I'm on mat leave, (if it was up to me I would’ve made the decision weeks ago, but alas it is not within my control and is causing me grief, as handing over a hotel isn't a quick task, and if it’s not the person I want it to be its a 2 week job, minimum!) 

  

Now everyone tells me I look ‘big’ for my dates, however the midwife measured the bump and it is NORMAL I tell you!!! Snap on the right taken Wednesday before last, at the start of the 29th week (Or 28+0) and I am noticeably bigger already, which is the idea I guess! My coat doesn't fit anymore, so it better get warmer soon! I think people just think I'm big because I'm a midget…

Three months in.. what I've learnt

So, D is three months old. This feels odd because in some ways, it feels like time has flown by really quickly. On the other hand, sometimes (mainly after a lack of sleep), the days have felt like long, slow water torture. Babies are hard, dude.

It's been a steep learning curve and one that I imagine only has more delights in store (teething, potty training, crawling...) but it's had amazing moments too. I have learnt that:

- Babies are master manipulators. They can go from smiley, happy little people to grumpy, screaming hellcats in five seconds flat. My emotions can be all over the place some days (and that's without all the hormones that still seem to be raging through my body.) But you know, he can have a day where he's a complete grump and still I will forgive it all when he grins at himself in the mirror. Tiny evil genius.

- Ignore people who tell you that their baby slept through at six weeks old. THESE BABY ARE AS RARE AS HEN'S TEETH. Just be grateful if you get a sort of routine going (by six weeks, D had started to go to sleep at 11 and wake at 2 and 6am for feeds. Now he sleeps from 11-5.)

- Don't be surprised if the baby lulls you into a false sense of security with said sleep routine and then completely changes his mind.

- Growth spurts are the most confusing time for very new parents. They are also hellish, what with constant feeding and grizzling. I now recognise a growth spurt at ten paces, as I have a GIGANTIC baby.

- There are things that, if anyone else's child did it, you would retch in horror. But when your child does it, you laugh it off. I'm not going into detail, but ick.

- Apparently babies don't get into a proper daytime nap routine til about four months at the earliest. This is disappointing and means that loo breaks/cups of tea are constantly on the hoof.

- It's OK to admit you're struggling. I've had to do this a few times and it's better than bottling it up. And if someone offers to help/take the baby so you can have a shower, take it.

- You appreciate things like having baths where you can read for a bit. It's important to have time to yourself if you can manage it.

There are loads more, but these are the main ones, I think. Oh and the best bit of advice I was given, pre-baby: "It's OK to want to throw the baby out of the window, as long as you don't actually throw the baby out of the window.." Everyone has moments where they're overwhelmed!

What happened at baby's first immunisation (or: I am a wuss!)

Last Friday, I took D for his first round of immunisations. I hated every second of it.

Now, don't get me wrong; I am virulently (pardon the pun) pro-immunisation. I know there are side effects- but the benefits outweigh the risks in my opinion. I've done my research and I'm happy for D to have the full whack of immunisations.

So, anyway, I took D to the doctors and made sure I took a friend for moral support. I bought Calpol and a thermometer. I was prepared. But I was also nervous. After he was born, we stayed in hospital for five days due to an infection. This meant, every twelve hours, he was taken away to another room for antibotics and blood tests. I hated seeing my tiny (well, not tiny- he was a bruiser, even as a newborn!) baby in pain, even for a second, even though I knew full well that this was necessary. It got to the point where I would take him and wait just outside the door until they were finished and take him back again, giving him a furious cuddle while I did so.

Unfortunately, D's dad was at work when the jab appointment came up (so I coudn't pass the buck to him. Rubbish.), so I gritted my teeth and went in with him. I knew that the problem was all in my head, that it was a bit selfish to worry about how I felt and that he wouldn't remember what was going on. The nurse fussed over him and I looked away as she injected him. We chatted about what the jabs were for and my nervousness- it's very common, she reassured me. It was all over in a couple of minutes- D had cried briefly and had two small plasters to show for it. As we left the room, the baby fell asleep and it was as if nothing had happened! I'd got so nervous about something he couldn't give a monkey's about! I did feel a bit daft, to be honest. I mean, I am a grown up after all!

A few hours later, D got very cross and hot, so after fiddling with  the Calpol and trying to work out how to get the syringe into the bottle/stripping him down to his vest, we finally helped him feel well again. (Tip: to use the Calpol syringe, you put the sit over the top of the bottle, which you then tip up. As you do this, pull the plunger of the syringe and voilà, strawberry flavoured goodness is ready to be dispensed. You're welcome.)

We took D to bed early and called an early night for ourselves as well, anticipating lots if broken sleep. Instead, after a bit of grizzling, he slept for seven hours straight, had a quick bottle at 6am and then slept til 9. Brilliant!

I'm still getting his dad to take him next time, though.

Why it shouldn't matter to others how you feed your baby

I spent all of my pregnancy fending off questions about how I was planning to feed my baby. My answer was always the same: "I'd like to breastfeed, if I can." I'd been producing milk since 16 weeks and I dutifully bought nursing bras and pumps. I also asked my mother-in-law if she would buy us a sterilising unit, just in case. I read Zoe Williams' columns on parenting and breastfeeding. I would be OK, whatever the outcome, I thought.

Cue D being born; a 45 hour labour where my waters had broken 26 hours before my actual contractions started. This meant that my baby ended up with an infection AND jaundice. There I was, a first-time mum with an ill baby.. who couldn't seem to feed her son. Add to this I was being watched like a hawk by the nurses as I was a major postnatal depression risk and you had a very stressed out mother.

I tried to feed D. I used a syringe to collect what I could. I tried to latch him on and he just didn't have the werewithal to do so. We were helped by nurses and lactation consultants (most were very kind, a couple were.. brusque.) Still, nothing. I cried, and at night, behind their curtains, I heard the other two mums in my room crying too, frustrated at 2am in the morning with screaming, hungry newborns. Both of those mums went on to breastfeed successfully.

I, on the other hand, continued to struggle. I was producing about 0.8ml of colostrum, which I was giving to D when I had it. I was keeping obsessive lists of how much and when D was having so that I could show the nurses and the doctors. And then, in the early hours of his second day, a nurse finally persuaded me to let them give him a formula 'top-up'. He took 45ml of formula and was instantly soothed. I cried, because I hadn't been able to give him that. Still, I persisted. I tried expressing. My lists continued.

In the end, I became exhausted and agitated. I spoke to the nursery nurses. I spoke to my husband. I saw later on in my notes that the nurses had written everything I had said- and I had sounded utterly desperate. I had a sick baby who needed to eat. In the end, I decided that I would put him on formula, until I was able to express milk. He guzzled the milk down. I was torn; happy that he was eating and that the fluids would help him recover, but gutted that I hadn't been able to help him. My lists became more detailed, showing how much expressed milk (usually less than 5ml a time- I admit that, in the end, I just couldn't face it anymore and gave up) and how much formula he had in a feed.

After three days of being on formula, we were allowed home (we had been in hospital for five days.) D was finally well enough and the nurses had been brilliant once the decision had been made to put him onto bottles. It took me weeks to reconcile myself to this fact, though.

Now that D is ten weeks old, I can see the benefits. He is a very big, healthy and happy baby, apart from the  odd bout of colic. His dad and I split the feeds. When I've needed to go to the doctors (which has been a lot!), I've been able to leave D with his dad or my aunt and know he's OK. Do I wish that I could breastfeed? Yes- even knowing all the rubbish side effects that can happen. But I'm just glad that I have a baby who is content. I know that, ultimately, I made the right decision and that I don't need to justify it. But by writing about it, maybe someone else in the same boat as I was can see that it's OK to seek alternatives if it's not working. Babies want happy mums.

This is why I think it's rubbish that the media pits breastfeeding and formula feeding mothers against each other. We shouldn't be at war with each other because of our choices- we all do the best we can in the circumstances and we never really know what someone has gone through to get to their decision. I've seen a lot of 'formula' bashing on newspaper comment sections, Twitter and forums. For my sanity and blood-pressure, I try and avoid those. I'm not going to go into the whole 'breastfeeding is better because...' debate. Of course it's better, if you can, to breastfeed. But it's not always possible. I was bottlefed and I've been fine. I have no reason to doubt that my son will be, too.

This is D, by the way- who looks a lot better than he did in those first few days in hospital:

Reality vs Myth (pregnancy)

Here are a few things that either I believed would happen from popular culture (episodes of Trash TV and the Daily Mail gossip pages mainly, don't judge me) or things that people have told me...

Your boobs will grow, possible even before you know you're pregnant (this was from a friend, and then a pregnancy book told me I will need to be re measured every 8-10 weeks ish to 'accommodate' the growth)
Reality for me: Nothing. Nada, I will just about fill a B cup. This is one the few things I was actually looking forward to, having actual boobs! but no. Week 18 arrived and I am in the same pre-bump bras.

If your mothers ankles didn't swell yours wont (this came from husbands mother)
Reality: not so far, but I highly doubt that history will repeat itself in any shape or form here, as she didn't even  realise she was pregnant with me till she almost lost me, then was told to drink a can of Guinness a day to help anaemia. She also smoked, maybe that's the secret to non swelling ankles. 3 people I have asked had all said they swelled to gargantuan sizes, and one even had a bone in her foot BREAK because of it. Crutches and a 7 month bump, poor her.

Take it easy and rest up (various people)
Reality: Actually it has been proven that exercising during pregnancy can help to have a  less stressful birth (although obviously if you have been told by a DOCTOR to rest, then do!) and it can also help post-partum recovery, as well as to combat stress and help you sleep better (As if you have any problem sleeping in the first trimester anyway!)  Personally I walk a lot anyway, plus have a fairly active job, and have been swimming when I can and was kindly given some pregnancy yoga classes for Christmas. I really enjoyed yoga but stopped about a year ago when I gave up my gym membership, but it always was an excellent way to de stress and stretch.

"OH MY GOD YOU JUST ATE A PEANUT!!" accompanied by a look akin to that of watching me skin a puppy, followed up with, "the kids going to be allergic now"
Reality: It's complete tosh. Unless of course I was allergic to peanuts, but then eating them would make me a complete twonk.

Use cocoa butter/oil/something so you never get stretch marks.
Reality: If you are going to get them you are going to get them, sad fact of life. However applying copious amounts of moisture will help to keep the skin supple and help the skin heal if you do get stretch marks, in turn helping the appearance look less severe.

You can eat for two now, lucky you!
Reality: I wish. Admittedly some days I am eating more than I should, but if you cant get fat when you're baking a baby when can you? You actually only need around 300 extra calories a day, if you were a healthy bmi when you got impregnated.

If you get heartburn you'll give birth to a baby with a full head of hair. 
REALLY strange woman I encountered at work, really?! just no.

Oh, you FLEW whilst pregnant?
Yes, I did it at 12 weeks and I am about to do it again at 21 weeks. Unless you have been told not to, then it's fine up until the last few weeks, because who wants to have a baby born on a plane? (It doesn't give the kid free flights forever/an automatic passport to where they are headed... I know this because a friend who works for Virgin often had ladies from Africa go into labour on a flight to England  accompanied with a Drs note saying they were only 21 weeks when they were quite clearly full term) However if you DO fly, get up and walk about a bit every hour, and attempt to book a seat near the loo.

Any other ridiculous myths people have mentioned/judged you for?