Thoughts: My Parenting Style

 

I wanted to do a post about my parenting ‘style’ for a few months now, or rather lack of. Once Athena arrived I didn’t read any books although I'd been given a few, I just followed my instinct. However you become aware of different types of parenting on websites/peoples blogs/forums etc it looks like I fall into the ‘AP’ category to a certain degree. I’d only really been aware of attachment parenting for a little while, and a couple of weeks ago Peaches Geldof highlighted it in the press due to a lively debate with old Katie Hopkins. Below are the principles, and I've explained my take on each of them.

 

1. Birth preparation & Birth bonding – As for birth preparation I definitely wasn't the textbook natural birth/ wannabe AP parent. In fact I had such anxiety and a mental block about it that I was allowed a scheduled C section. I think this made me a lot calmer about the whole process, however it was only agreed in week 36, so I really only had a few weeks to think about what might happen after the baby arrived, before that I was focussed on HOW the baby would arrive.  I think this worked in my favour as I had far less time to worry about the ‘what ifs’ and ‘how wills’ of having a new-born. We did have skin to skin after my C section in the recovery room, and obviously continued this in the hospital and once we came home the next day. Amazingly so far I've not experienced any post natal depression, not even the ‘day three blues’ and haven't once cried or even felt like I wanted to, although I was in the ‘at risk’ category due to teenage depression and considerable pre-natal anxiety.

2. Breastfeeding – I knew I wanted to try it, and luckily for me it was an easy journey and we’re still at it now, with only a couple of bottles of formula in month 5 when I was away from her for more than normal and couldn’t express enough in time. I wouldn’t have beaten myself up over it if it didn’t work though, and hate the amount of furore there is over how people choose to feed their babies.

3. Babywearing- as soon as I could (due to C section) I wore Athena. Sam wore her before that. However I don’t wear her all the time, it’s not viable for us on long trips (she’s a chunky monkey and I am not strong) and she’s perfectly happy in the buggy.

4. Bedding close to baby – Now this one is an odd one for me, at 6 weeks we moved house and assembled the cot bed in her new room. We put her in the cotbed one night when she fell asleep at 6 weeks and is still there for the majority of the night now. Most people have raised their eyebrows at this happening so early, but at the time she was sleeping at least 6-8 hours overnight and when she woke up I'd bring her back to our bed and we’d fall asleep nursing and get a couple more hours rest. In the weeks before that she slept in bed with us or in a moses basket right next to me. She napped on me on the sofa in the first weeks, actually I still rarely put her in her cot for her morning nap and she spends it on me or next to me on the sofa. I distinctly remember thinking that we needed a bouncy chair because ‘I don't want to be holding the baby all the time’ How wrong I was, it hardly got used and we put it away at 4 months.

5. Belief in the language value of your baby’s cry -  this is a big one for me. Babies don’t cry for no reason, and I take pride in the fact that 9 times out of 10 I know why she is crying, it’s easy to distinguish between hungry and windy, for example. I firmly dislike the idea of ‘cry it out’ and think that if something that small is crying they need to be comforted. How can something that small be crying to manipulate their parents, as some people believe? I also take cues from her facial expressions, I know when she’s about to fall asleep on the boob because her little eyes flicker from side to side then get wide, for example.

6. Beware of baby trainers – As I said before, I've not followed any of the routine based parenting books, although pre baby I honestly always envisaged a strict routine. Instead I let Athena set a routine, and she’s pretty good at it. Before the clocks went back and she had a growth spurt she was falling asleep in between 7 and 7.30pm. It’s a bit different now (longer afternoon nap and falls asleep between 8 and 9) but that’s fine, she can sleep wherever so I can take her out and about with me in the evenings and not worry about ruining the routine, and when she is awake she gets to see things and people that hopefully help her to develop. As for food we’re following a mostly baby led weaning route and I’ve just done what I thought is right with it, and so far so good!

7. Balance – A healthy balance between baby and your own life. I am happy with this (apart from my husbands working patterns but we can’t help that right now!) Having a baby hasn’t meant that I've had to stop doing anything that I want to do, I just take her with me, or Sam or my Mum looks after her. As she gets older I hope I'll learn when to say ‘No’ to her, or to things I think I need to do. For example I am well aware that when she is not very much older I'll probably need to stop taking her out so much in the evenings, once she has established more of a routine for herself for example, but for now everyone’s happy and I get to see people in the evenings and afternoons as my husband works these times.

There are obviously lots of theories behind AP, but I've not read many, and haven't decided to choose to follow this path even, I've just fallen into many of the principles by accident. I’m hoping that as Athena grows she will remain close to me but I would never force something that she wasn’t happy with. So perhaps my parenting style is just that: ‘MY STYLE’.

What’s your ‘parenting style’? how does it differ to what you envisaged pre baby?

The Clocks are about to change, but what else will?

 

I have heard horror stories about the sleeping patterns of babies when the clocks change (admittedly mostly from over-sharers on Facebook) and this weekend will be the first time Athena and I experience it. I’m fairly lucky in that she normally wakes up around 8am, so this will become 7am, just bearable! It will also mean that her 8pm-ish bedtime might become a 7pm ish bedtime, so not too horrific!! I can see this being a much bigger problem when she is in a strict routine when she’s a toddler, for example. At the moment there are still the odd times when she doesn't fall asleep till 10pm at the moment! Then of course it all happens in reverse in the spring again!

With any luck I will spend my extra hour in the evening (unlike most peoples, who will be in the morning!) reading a new book in a hot bubble bath! Warren Evans the UKs largest independent bed makers want you to share it with them as part of their national Clocks Go Back Week, visit the Warren Evans blog to find out more and view the T&C’s but it’s really simple to enter…

Just post ‘when the #clocksgoback…’ on the Warren Evans Facebook timeline and you could be in with a chance of winning a handmade double bed and a luxuriously comfortable mattress!

Baby update: 4 months old

Yesterday by baby was four months old! At the last weigh in Athena was 14.3lbs, and is now rounder than ever before. She has fat little wrists with rolls all up her arms and legs. She’s lost a fair amount of hair and has a bald patch at the back, despite me hoping she wouldn't but she’s not completely bald so that’s something! She’s in size 3-6 month clothes and size 3 nappies. A thorough thumb sucker like her daddy, more often than not when I go in to check on her she’s got it in her mouth, she’s been rejecting dummies for ages so I just hope she gives up sucking her thumb on her own else I'll have to chop it off! Vocals wise she’s getting much more talkative as the weeks go by, squealing, growling and gurgling away, with a few ‘ba’s added in for good measure. Giggles are a lot more frequent that last month too, with some belly chuckles flung in at time. She has the cutest little round face when she does it. We’ve more or less stopped using the bouncy chair as it’s more of a hammock now she’s so chunky, she’s almost horizontal in it. At the moment the back of it is propped up on some sturdy cooking books so she can see more than the ceiling when she’s in it, So we use the bumbo a lot more (best £3 at a car boot ever!) She still doesn’t cry unless she’s hungry or tired, or the odd occasion when she’s suffering with wind, but that’s rare these days, luckily.

Sleep – Some days 7-8 hours on the trot, other days wakes up a lot more frequently. The average of the last week is sleeping solidly from around 9 until 3 or 4 then a feed and asleep for another 2 ish hours, then another feed and a doze for 2 more hours (in bed with me). The 3/4am feed is the killer for me, as I know she’ll be awake again in another couple of hours… regardless of if she stays sleeping with me in bed on back in her cot/room. Daytime naps are a short one (hour max) in the morning around 2 hours after we get up, and then in the afternoon for a couple of hours, especially if we’re out in the buggy or car. There are no specific set naptimes, I just wait for her to rub her eyes then nurse her to sleep if we’re at home. I’ve been told there is a sleep regression around 4 to 5 months anyway so i’m not too fussed, and if it gets really bad we’ll just co sleep our way through it.

  

My biggest bugbear is that she won’t settle herself to sleep 95% of the time if we’re inside. Although it’s not a major problem it would be nice to put her in her cot and leave her to fall asleep. I have to nurse her, wait for her to fall asleep then wait an unspecified amount of time until I think she is suitably dead to the world to get her into her room, into the cot without waking her up. If I time it wrong and do it just as she is coming into an ‘awake’ part of her rem cycle we have to start all over again! She’ll fall asleep on her own in the car or pram though, so sometimes we just walk for 2 hours in the afternoon, not ideal when I fancy a nap too!However I don’t want to go down the controlled crying route or whatever it is because it’s just not for me (yet! haha)

Routine – still none to speak of. Obviously there are a few things that happen daily, like when we get up I put Athena on her playmat for 30/40 minutes (so I can make tea/load the dishwasher/wish I was still asleep etc) and then I get her dressed and we have a feed. That’s it for structure until bedtime, which again I take from her cues (eye rubbing/ear pulling) but is normally between 7/8. We have a quick bath together, she gets a massage and a song or two (normally ‘rub rub rub your belly’ to the tune of row your boat…) and then nursed to sleep.

Feeding -  still just breastfeeding, we’ve tried to give a bottle of formula once but she rejected it. I wanted to try so that she could take formula if I had to leave her and I hadn’t expressed enough. No such luck so I’m still pumping away to create reserves in the freezer! I’m going back to work for a ‘keeping in touch’ day on Tuesday and Sam has her for the day so i’m hoping there is enough there! Not thinking about weaning just yet, though I have bought some baby rice in preparation. I can count on one hand the number of times she’s been sick in the last month which is good, and we’ve only had 2 windy outbursts too, though one was a shocker for all involved. And because all parents always talk about poop: we’re back to an average of once a day between getting up and morning nap, which is better than once every 5 days in terms of quantity but as I know when it’s coming I wait for it to happen before I get her dressed.

  

Activity – We have a grabber, for ages it was just batting at whatever was within reach but for a couple of weeks now she’s been focusing on something with major concentration, reaches out and then grasps it properly on purpose, hurrah!. Shortly after being grabbed whatever it is is heading towards her mouth. Everything goes in the mouth, even a foot once. She knows her feet are her feet and often they’re being being waved around by her ears. She can roll onto both sides now, after preferring her right for a few weeks, but she’s only gone onto her front once so I think it was a fluke. Tummy time is a lot more enjoyable after a couple of months of squawking every time I put her on her front on the mat (though fine on me or the bed) but now she’s happy to be on her front for as long as her back and will reach out for things and push herself up with her arms. She can sit with someone holding her hips, so her back is obviously getting stronger too, it’ll be nice when she can sit completely unaided because I'll have both hands free when she’s sat with me.

She hates being flat on her back unless she’s on her mat or in her pram, and even then if she’s awake she gets a bit pissed off I think, so at some point soon I will convert the pram into its seat position, as it reclines pretty far back for naps when we’re out anyway. I’ll have it me-facing at first so I can still see her but she’ll be able to see way more than from flat on her back!

She loves being chucked about lots too, we know we’ll get a smile when we tip her upside down, or pretend to drop her. I can throw her up in the air too, although Sam can only do this outside as he’s so tall she’d conk her head on the ceiling if he did it inside! With all the early rough play I wonder if she’ll end up a bit of a tom boy like me? We bought her a jumperoo (ebay local collection, job done!) to play in, she’s not spinning round in the seat bit though so has no idea of the joyous musical thing on the other side yet (thank god)

And as for me 4 months post partum, my stretch marks are fading but still very much present, my belly is flabby but not quite as big as it was and I tried my pre-preg denim shorts on and they do up again, so that’s something good. I have however been suffering from awful back leg and foot pains, as well as 1 specific toe and 1 specific finger getting really bad joint pains. I had a problem with one hip when I was younger and saw a chiropractor when I danced a lot to try and sort it, so not sure if it is related to that or not. Also a small mole has changed shape so I think I better book a doctors appointment at some point soon.

So, four months ago I had a baby pulled out of my belly, and a year ago yesterday I had just piddled on the stick and found out I was making an actual baby. Scary stuff.

[first posted on Belle du Brighton]

Review: Garmin Nuvi 50

 

 

Recently I was asked to be a safety and security tester for Tesco Compare and they sent me a Garmin Nuvi 50 to review. As I mentioned in this post we put my car back on the road when we moved, as Sam now needs to commute to work and having a car makes going out as a family much easier than attempting the train! I used to have a TomTom, but after years of use when we went to use it when we moved it didn't work so it got binned!

The Nuvi 50 has a 5 inch  wide-screen display, with a clear definition. It’s a touch screen and the keyboard can be set to QWERTY which is much easier to use than the tomtom’s a-z type display. My husband Sam has huge fingers but can easily input the destination, and use all the other touch screen features with ease. We took a trip this week into the countryside, and used the ‘points of interest’ feature to search for somewhere to visit (Parham House, which was lovely!) and as a test I covered the screen up, to see if Sam could follow the directions verbally, and low and behold he managed fine! (I think because he can’t argue with a satnav like he can with me!) Sound wise it has a surprisingly high volume, and can be heard over open windows and a fairly loud stereo (much to my annoyance a new addition to the car is speakers in the back!) You can choose for your voice to dictate road names, or to just give left/right and distance directions. Listening to some of the pronunciations is a bit of a giggle, so I'd recommend that option!

It warns you of speed cameras (and has software that updates this info all the time so you’re not caught out!) and you can set it to avoid motorways and toll charges etc, along with ability to navigate to the nearest petrol station/hospital etc (hopefully we’ll never need to use the latter function but good for peace of mind!) We tested it without being plugged in to the charger too, to see how long it lasts without power and it ran for just over 2 hours on its battery (in the rare event you’ve left the cable at home or your cigarette lighter stops working!) You can also unclip the device from the holder WAY easily than any other sat nav I've encountered, but when it is in place it’s held firmly and didn't pop out when going over speed bumps or mounting kerbs (all in the name of testing, obviously!) It’s lightweight too, so I didn't notice it when I put in in my handbag when we parked the car.

The best feature in my opinion is the split screen ‘lane assist’ where if you are coming up to a particularly tricky junction or lane change, the screen will split, with the normal map showing on one side and a detailed display of the lanes ahead, clearly marking which one you need (I can think of a particular roundabout in Manchester that this function would be really helpful for!) so you don’t end up heading in the wrong direction! Oh, and Sam told me to make sure I mention that you can change the type of car that shows on the display, and change the voices, which are obviously the most important parts! All the maps can be updated easily by connecting the Nuvi 50 to your computer and using the software downloaded from their website to choose what updates to include (ie European country maps etc)

 

If you’re looking for a satnav that is voice operated, plays music and can be used when you’re on foot walking around town then this isn't for you, but for an easy to use device that gets you where you want to be with a big display that is easy to read in bright sunlight and at night time then I’d definitely recommend this one!

My Birth Story – an elective Caesarean Section

[It took me a lot of time and in my mind an unnecessarily high amount of stress and effort to get the NHS to let me have an elective C section, it only being agreed 3 weeks before m(y due date, and being scheduled for the day before, and finally happening on the day after, as we were put back due to emergencies, which of course I completely understand. You can read more about why I wanted one here and the process here, I'm just thankful I had a supportive midwife and GP]

When we arrived at the hospital at 8am we were put into a room and told we were first that day, due to being sent home 2 days before, hurrah! I was given a gown that opened at the back to put on, & Sam some scrubs... (They just about fit him in an xxl, but his clog things were at least 2 sizes too small!) I was asked if I had taken the pills that they had given me to minimise stomach acid, and when I last ate or drank anything (no food after midnight and no water after 6am!)

Last picture with le’bump!

Various people came in to introduce themselves, first the head surgeon with about 5 students. He had a feel of my bump (leaving my foo-foo on display to all!) and looked through my notes then said the head still hadn't engaged (so lord knows how much longer I would've waited if I'd not had my section that day!) then the anaesthesiologist guy came in, with a student and someone observing from another hospital... He explained how the spinal block would work, and gave me the opportunity to ask any questions. Then along came Pauline to say hi, she would be looking after me after the op, checking blood pressure and giving painkillers etc. Our midwife was Badil (I think she was Swedish?) who stuck a canular in my hand (after being reminded she should give me a local anaesthetic first!) for the various things that needed to be dripped in to me, and taped over my wedding rings as I couldn't get them over my swollen sausage fingers by that point! I'd taken out/off all my other jewellery, but managed to sneak in with waterproof mascara and filled in eyebrows!

At about 9.25 they came to get us, and just as we walked into the theatre I decided I needed a pee, so toddled back out again, then Sam decided he needed one so he went out… then with relieved bladders we were ready to go!
The spinal wasn't half as bad as I expected, there was some cold spray (lots of it!) that made me jump, then a local, then the actual needle to administer the block... I was asked to hunch over with a curved spine and push  backwards against the anaesthesiologists thumb, which is no mean feat when you've got a large bump in the way! Sam watched all this from the front so he didn't have to see anything sharp, they said husbands often faint so just don't give people the option anymore! I should mention at this point that I could see out of the window to the Marina, and watched a boat slowly work its way out to sea when I wasn't hunched over! It helped that it was gloriously sunny too! Once that needle was in and had done its business,  I was spun onto my back and laid flat, my gown whipped up to form the screen so I couldn't see my lower half, and then a catheter was put in so I didn't piddle all over the operating table. Then the table was tilted slightly to the left, I forgot to ask why though! I thought I'd find someone inserting a catheter awkward, but it happened so fast and I didn't feel it anyway!

Looking slightly nervous pre-spinal

Some more cold spray was used to determine if I was numb enough in the right places, I was, so it was all systems go! Sam was seated next to my head on the left, Marc the anaesthesiologist just behind me and his assistant next to him. They did a role call (12 people including us! Students and onlookers etc) and then got to it! Sam and I chatted to Marc about amusing stories from working in hotels, some of which he couldn't believe, but it kept my mind off the strange tugging sensation I could feel... And then before we knew it the surgeons assistant (her first assist apparently!) said ‘okay we're almost there, do you want us to hold baby up so you can see?’ YES obviously I'd been waiting 40 weeks and a day to know what gender this baby was! We heard a sucking noise, which at first I thought was the baby crying but was them suctioning blood/amniotic fluid out, THEN the unmistakable cry of a new-born who’d been dramatically whipped out into the real world! A few seconds later they lowered the screen a little and showed us this waxy baby, a girl with a full head of dark hair! (I may have got watery eyed at this point!) She looked pretty angry to be whipped out of her comfy space to be honest! She was taken to be wrapped up, and Sam went round to cut the cord and take a look at her!

About 3 minutes before she arrived, judging my the clock! (Plus 8 of the 12 people in the theatre!)

Less than two minutes later Sam was back with her all wrapped in a towel, and oh my god she was amazing! Thick dark hair and long legs! After a minute or two the midwife asked if I wanted her on my chest, so she was carefully placed there so I could hold her (not skin to skin as I was still in a gown and she was in a towel) but we literally just sat and stared and got a bit teary with each other! I seem to remember saying ‘its a girl, a GIRL’ a fair amount, as 95% of people had predicted that she would be a he! We were asked what we were going to call her, and everyone said what a lovely name, and made predictions for her future (an investigative journalist!?)

 

First cuddles!

After about 25 minutes (of stitching up time!) someone apparently shoved a painkiller up my behind (I have no recollection of this, and didn't feel it obviously) and then we were wheeled into recovery. The next hour is a bit of a blur of cuddles, skin to skin contact and attaching Athena to start to feed, which was painful, but so worth it! I was allowed to try and eat some bread and tea after a little bit, which I promptly brought back up, and the same thing happened when I tried again, only this time there was nobody with me to give me the sick bowl (I was napping), and I spectacularly vomited fountain style whilst lying on my back, so it went all over me, the pillows, the floor… LUCKILY I wasn’t holding Athena, she was safely in her crib thing out of harms way! Sam and the nurse arrived back at the  same time to find me covered and looking very sorry for myself! The nurse helped to change me and I was given an anti sickness something or other in my cannula as well as the drip, and a liquid oral painkiller as by this point I'd vommed up 4 paracetomol!

Latching on and skin to skin

We were told we would be taken downstairs to the post-natal wards once a bed was ready, which was at about half past two, so by 3pm we were downstairs in a bed on a ward of 4 other new mothers. Every so often someone came to check out my blood pressure and temperature, and changed my catheter bag. It was SO AMAZING not to feel like I needed to pee every 12 minutes, as I had for the last 4 months of my pregnancy due to her head being practically IN my bladder for so long. Sam went to find some hot food as he was starving, and I napped a little with Athena on my chest… when he came back we took lots of pictures to send to various relatives and friends, and just sat and gawped at her/each other with complete shock!

That night was spent with her mainly on my chest alternative between feeding and sleeping, but I really didn't get much rest because of all the various noises, the lady next door had a baby that spent most of the night crying, and the other two women snored. Long story short, I was ‘released’ at about 7pm the next day, so only spend 36 hours in hospital. They just wanted to know that I was passing urine okay once my catheter was out and that I was mobile (I had a shower and stood up straight the moment I felt I could, as my stitches didn't really hurt much at all!) and gave me a load of various painkillers to take home, along with 7 little needles with something or other in to inject myself in the belly with to help prevent blood clots, which wasn’t an issue for me as I'm fine with needles. Sam had headed off home with most of my bags (obviously I had packed as if I would be in for 3+ days as I was told 3 is about average after a C section) and had comeback with the car seat, so once I was dressed (I wore the clothes I had worn in the day before) we called a taxi and headed home! Sitting in our living room, only the day after but with a brand new baby was surreal, I'll tell you that for nothing!

So there you have it, the story of how Athena arrived in our lives on June 6th 2013!

My breastfeeding experience – the first 6 weeks

In hospital Athena latched on (albeit painfully!) right away, and started getting the colostrum that about 4 different Midwives called 'liquid gold' (as if trying to persuade me it was a good thing, I'd already made it clear I wanted to breast feed!) and throughout the first night she either slept on my chest or fed from it! At this stage each time she latched on was pretty painful, and I distinctly remember looking away from her when I winced in case she could sense I was in pain (as if she could even focus her eyes, but I think I was delirious from lack of sleep!)

The next morning she wouldn't feed from the right boob, until Sam remembered the 'rugby ball' hold and we tried that (kind of under the arm, so she comes at the nipple from another direction) and it worked a treat! Once we came home the first midwife who visited showed us 'planting' which is basically getting her in position, nipple lined up with nose and then waiting for her to open up wide and literally shoving her onto the nipple swiftly! I was shocked at the speed at which she did it with but Athena started sucking away with hardly any pain! She also said to make sure that the babies belly is facing yours, not upwards, as it will help them swallow more easily. The aim is for your nipple to be pointing towards the roof of their mouth...

Once my milk came through properly on day four, the previously slightly cracked nipples started to heal and harden up and since then I've not had to use the nipple cream every day. Other positions we've used are lying down, for in bed night time feeds, her lying on my chest (i let her root around and find the nipple herself, and this 'tummy time' helps her strengthen her neck muscles. When you put her on Sam's chest she will work her way all the way up to his chin, which is impressive but very natural as its a babies instinct to seek food!

For the first two weeks I was looking for her feeding to fall into a pattern or routine, but then quickly realised that she wants food when she wants it, no routine to be had at all!! Once I embraced that, and stopped stressing inputting feed times into an app on my phone things got a lot easier! The other thing that makes it easier is having the full support of Sam, he'll get me a glass of water or cuppa if I've run out (or finished one and she's still feeding!) and if we're up having a feed in the night when he gets home from work he'll sit and massage my neck and shoulders for me, as well as telling me I'm amazing every so often, and doing a whole load of housework and cleaning!

After 3 weeks I tried expressing (using a manual pump) during Athena's longer afternoon nap, and to my surprise it wasn't that tricky, though the first 2 or 3 pumps are a bit painful each time! I got about 3oz the first time, then the next morning woke up with engorged boobs as she’d slept 6 hours which meant I filled right up, so I fed her from one and got 5oz from the other! I’m now pumping during her morning nap if I'm at home and at any other time later in the day if I'm not, especially if my boobs start leaking! The main reason for starting to express was so that Sam could share feeding, and to get her used to a bottle so that I can be away from her for more than 3 hours max at a time! We plan to get her used to taking a bottle from anyone, so babysitting will be easier for people!

I’ve now fed her at the beach, on a bench outside the shopping centre, on a train and in a few restaurants and pubs. I just always make sure that I've got a muslin or scarf to cover things up, but so far I’ve not had anyone mention it or even look interested, yet alone offended. The worst thing is finding easy boob-access dresses, as the top-pulling-up method only works if I wear a skirt, and as I only have one that fits is a rare occurrence, and I don't wear trousers so rarely wear tops!

During the night she normally wakes up around 6am, so we feed in bed for this one with us both laying on our sides facing each other (this one works for lazy TV watching on the sofa too!) and sometimes I'll sit her upright on my lap facing me and supporting her with one arm, which works well when you need to use the other arm for something! The baby carrier I have doesn't allow access to le boob, so I've not tried feeding from a sling whilst out and about yet but perhaps in the future!

2 Weeks post-partum

Our first cuddle & our first night at home

So Athena has been with us for just over two weeks now, and I can't put her down! We've gone through our first growth spurt (my poor boobs!) but have only had one real night of broken sleep so far, which was also down to the growth spurt on day 14, but since then we've gone back to one or no feeds between 1am (bedtime) and 8am, hurrah! I'll do a fuller post on our 'routine' (so to speak) soon.

Breast feeding so far hasn't been half as hard as I thought it could be, however things change so it still could get difficult in the future! I'm under no illusions there! We had a couple of day of cracked nipples and pained faces (me not her!) but then we got used to it and can pretty much do it in our sleep! (Literally!) again, I'll do another post on this in a few weeks! The biggest problem is what to wear out in public that enables me to whip a tit out to feed her! At home we're mostly topless, much to the delight/horror of the people who sit outside the pub opposite and the top deck passengers of any passing bus!

In terms of my post Partum body, the stretch marks that arrived a week and a half before she did haven't gone, which is annoying (annoying I got them in the first place after getting away with none for so long!) but to be frank I don't wander round in belly revealing clothes so if they don't go it's not too big a deal! I have an amusing X shaped one right where my belly button piercing was! I still have a belly, but it has gone down a lot since the first week, and I've not bothered to weigh myself since I had her so no idea how much I've lost, but I think the swollen legs/feet and arms probably equated to a fair bit!

 

a week old / first bath / first experience of grass (ish)

I'm able to go out and about with no problems after my c section, we first went for a walk on day 4 (I was let out of hospital on day 1) and we've tried to go out at least every other day, with the only issue being a bit of blood loss on days when I've overdone it a bit! My scar I thought was healing well but this morning I seem to have popped a stitch or something, although its hurting a lot less now that it was so perhaps something was just rubbing on it in bed, making it a bit gunky (sorry!) if it persists I'll go to the doctor to have it looked at as I don't want it to get infected! It's hard to let air get to it when you have to wear big pants so
they don't rub it!

That's about it for now, I'm working on a 'birth story' post too, but obviously Athena is my top priority so my laptop isn't on as much as it was! When I learn  to put her down for all naps and not just her long morning one it'll be on a bit more and I'll get back into a blogging routine!

I had a baby!

Meet Athena Lorelei, born on Thursday 6th June at 9.54am, weighing 7lbs14oz

We were discharged on Friday evening and have been settling in at home as a family of three! Sam has been immensely helpful in doing pretty much everything as I'm meant to be taking it easy so I don't put strain on the C-section scar, but I've got painkillers and am injecting myself daily to combat any ill-effects, and currently don't feel too bad at all! 

 Athena is amazing, I can't believe she's ours! Needless to say blogging isn't my #1 priority at the moment but I'll be back soon! 

         

Nesting, C Section & week 39 update

I have never been the sort of person who keeps a tidy house. My mother had a fridge magnet that declared:

 

and I’ve always remembered it… plus I like to live in a home that feels lived in rather than like a show-home. However for the last couple of weeks I have been obsessed with having a sort/tidy/clean of the whole house! It’s most unlike me but I've actually quite enjoyed it! I’ve tackled more or less every area of our house, and the amount of black bin bags we’ve gone through is pretty high! Sam even joined in and got rid of a load of clothes too (I’ve yet to tackle my shoe collection but however!) But I figured it’s way better to do all this before we move, and before I'm having to take it easy after a C-Section! The bathroom has been cleaned from top to bottom (including all the grouting) as has the kitchen and the whole place has been hoovered thoroughly!

I’ve also stocked the freezer up with dinners (so far 6 main meals, like curries, bolognese etc, and 3 cakes!) so that when neither of us feel like cooking when I'm home from hospital and sleep deprived we can just bung them in the microwave and make rice or something else easy to go with them! None of this is normal behaviour for me, so it is definitely the ‘nesting’ instinct taking over! Most bizarre, and I honestly didn't think it would happen until it did!

If you read my post on choosing a C-section a few weeks ago then the outcome is that it was finally agreed by a consultant. Even if one agrees then another one has to it turns out, but it would be far too convenient for them to do that on the same day, so we managed to get another appointment a week later, which resulted in another week of worry and strain… The consultant that day didn't turn up to work however, but we met with a wonderful doctor who listened (again) to all my concerns, was upset that the NHS counselling service still hadn't given me an appointment (been waiting since march!) and said that he would ‘nip up to the labour ward and find an obstetrician’ for me. Fifteen minutes later (we made awkward small talk with the medical student who sat in on our appointment) he was back, but on his own. I genuinely thought it was an outright no, but it turns out the lady who he spoke to agreed it after looking at my notes and had signed off. He ran me through how the operation works, highlighted the risks (which I could quote back to him verbatim by this point, statistics and all) and we signed the consent form! Obviously at some point after the baby arrives I'll write about my experience, but as you can imagine we were both so relieved and the date is in the diary!

Briefly, the only new symptoms I have experienced since my week 37 update is some extreme acid reflux, some slightly stronger braxton hicks type pains in week 38 and then in the final week, the absolute swelling of my feet, lower legs, arms and hands. I have tattoos on both feet and they look warped at the moment! I look elephantine! I can’t get my wedding rings off and can only wear about 2 pairs of shoes that I own. 

It’s pretty uncomfortable and I’ve been attempting to rest and put my feet up but I also didn't want to waste my last few days of ‘freedom’ sat on my bum, and have various lunch/tea dates with friends which has been lovely! My piddling/sleeping cycle has got worse and I really not getting much sleep at all because my cold means I cant breathe through my nose during the night, so I get a gunky mouth and a bunged up nose, paired with the fact that it’s getting warmer, night times are no fun at the moment! Lets hope the baby sleeps through and I can get some sleep (wishful thinking haha!)

My next post will be post-baby, so see you on the other side!

Review: Diono Baby Organiser

A couple of weeks ago, I was very lucky to be offered the chance to review a rather handy Baby Organiser from Diono. This was a brilliant find for me, mainly because our changing bag is huge and bulky. The thing that attracted me to the organiser was the fact that it's multi-use: it can be used as a bag to carry, a bag to attach to the back of a buggy or an organiser that can go either on the buggy or the back of a front car seat. As we're planning on getting a car in the summer, I figured we'd get a lot of use!

Image: Diono

As you can see, the bag can be unzipped to hang on the back of a buggy or car seat (which I think would be massively handy for journeys with older children as well; you could stuff it with sickbags, snacks and games etc!) The bag can be zipped up with the pockets either inside or out, depending what you prefer. I've used both and must say that I like having the pockets on the outside- it's really quick to grab what you want!

You can see that we were able to put quite a bit into the bag, although it is really easy to overfill because it's so roomy and I was overenthusiastic! I'm not entirely sure we've quite worked out the best way to attach the bag to the handles of the buggy, but to be honest, it's small enough to be stowed away in the shopping basket underneath.

I also think this looks really smart and compact. The material is lightweight and easy to clean. I also really like that there's a zip on the inside when the bag is in this format. It's very handy for sticking your phone/purse/keys in safely.

If I could change anything about the baby organiser, I'd like it to be in a bright colour, but that's just personal taste! I can see this being very useful as D grows up and his needs change. A very flexible product!

You can buy Diono 3-in-1 Baby Organiser here for £15.99

Bump update: week 37

So the last couple of weeks have been a bit of a nightmare, truth be told! On Wednesday I'll be 38 weeks and I am suffering!

After the disastrous consultant visit (I wrote about it here, and also wanted to express my thanks to those who commented and tweeted after that post) I then went further into anxious mode, until my MW appointment last Wednesday. As ever she was completely supportive, horrified that the consultant hadn't listened to what I had explained and brushed me off as a 'first time worrier', she got right on the phone to the hospital to make me another appointment with a different consultant, who I met last Monday, and who agreed (yay!) but said that it had to be signed off by a second doctor (he then helpfully gave me a prescription for some iron tablets with someone else's name on, cheers doc!) BUT I am seeing the 2nd consultant tomorrow morning, so hopefully my months of not knowing will be over!

And as for symptoms...
We went through some new symptoms (itchy body, including feet and some slight swelling in uncomfortable places) and my general tiredness levels, my MW took some blood and advised me to call the next day at 5pm, however by 10am the next morning I had already had a call from the hospital asking me to call back to discuss my results, worrying, but super quick service! SO it turns out my iron levels had dropped lower than they were last time they were checked (30 weeks, I think) even though I have been taking Feroglobin iron supplements and eating well, and the blood test that measures liver function was also low, (as recognised by the itchiness, which is very scientifically clever!) so that needs some tablets, but I said I already had consultant appointment on Monday, and could I wait and sort it all out then, the answer was yes, as long as the baby is still moving as normal (which it is, phew!) although I had been experiencing some really painful twinges all that morning.

She said it was probably just the braxton hicks getting a bit more powerful, or that I was just doing too much, or the baby was getting more confined as it grew, or a combination of all of these things. It was a pretty stressful day at work too (stupidly I was on my hands and knees scrubbing things and checking under beds ready for a butt-load of visiting VIPs) but after a 2 hour nap the pain seemed to have eased off by that night (last thurs!) and has since reduced to bearable levels and pretty much remained that way.

I've also developed some skin tags and changes to a couple of moles, mainly around my neck, a few google searches tell me this is normal and that they will go after the baby arrives, but the moles changing I am going to get checked at the Drs just in case!

Other than that, my symptoms have more or less remained the same (frequent piddling!!) but the aches have got worse, especially first thing in the morning! If it didn't take me so long to wash and dry my hair I'd move bath times to the morning but I think a warm bath before bed helps me unwind, so I'm not really willing to change my routine! I look like a decrepit old lady until at least mid day when things have eased up a little!

I am due to finish work on 23rd May (this Thursday ) and have more or less finished the handover to the person who will be managing the hotel for me in my absence, but it's going to be so strange not having to be on call 24/7 and not knowing what the hell is happening, but I'm sure I'll get over it pretty quickly!

I have been told I am having a leaving party on Tuesday too, hurrah! I'm meant to be going to a meeting (with dinner and a stay over) in Bournemouth on my last day, it'd mean I get to see all the people from the hotels in my region before being off for so long, and have a proper catch up, BUT I am inordinately worried I'll go into labour and Sam won't be there and I'll have to make someone drive me home in the middle of the night or something... I'll see how I feel the day before and decide then!

Anyway, I will keep you all posted on the yay/nay C-section meeting! Also, I'm moving about 7 weeks after the baby arrives, (blog post here on my other blog) any tips?

Maternity Clothes

 

I’ve just realised I've not really written about what I've been wearing during my pregnancy on this blog, and only on occasion on my other blog.

I’ve found it really hard to find nice maternity clothes if I'm being honest, partly because I didn’t want to spend much money on new clothes, but mainly because I genuinely didn't like much available out there! I bought three dresses from the New Look maternity range in the Christmas sales, which was long before I needed them but was a sensible thing to do on reflection! I also bought 2 dresses from ASOS in the sales, but then when I tried them on when I had a noticeable bump decided that they didn’t look right (the tulip style skirt on one just made me look like a hippo!) and sold them on eBay for a profit (hurrah!) I do still have a nice cream lace dress with the tags still on, which I couldn't resist, but have had nowhere nice enough to wear it to, so if a situation doesn't arise I'll sell that too!

My first bit of advice is to think about what you’ve already got that will work (dresses with full skirts, things that are really elasticated, flowy tops etc, and you’d be surprised at what will still fit quite far along! I’m still wearing 2 ‘normal’ skirts to work, admittedly they are ‘bodycon’ style so are stretchy, but just get worn below the bump now. Secondly, USE EBAY! consider that most of the maternity clothes that are being sold have probably only been worn for around 3 months, before their owner decides to sell them for more money for nappies…

Here's a lowdown of what I’ve bought:

• leggings x 3 (New look, Matalan (both good quality) and H&M too long and a little bit thin for £14.99!)
• vest tops: Topshop (I do not rate these AT ALL, the strappy one is too low cut and the barely cover the bump, even though I bought them in a size up from normal!)
• T shirts: a 3 pack and a single one from New look. Great quality and still fit perfectly over a 36 week bump, with room to spare! (I bought a 12 and normally wear 10/12 in Newlook sizing) I bought a long-line stripy (of course, being maternity!) top from asos which was fine in my normal size and still fits well now too.
• Maxi-Skirt: H&M via eBay. PERFECT, this is the best thing I've purchased in terms of comfort, and go-with-everything top-wise!
• Jeans: Top-shop Leigh maternity jeans (denim with little dots on, with a stretchy band and no zip) cute, comfy till about 7 months then they just got too tight to wear for long periods of time. Green jeans from New look maternity, (Stretchy side panels with a zip) same as the above jeans. I’m not sure why I even bought jeans, I never wore them pre pregnancy but somehow it seemed like a good idea! To be honest I was glad of the extra thickness when I went to Prague though! tights wouldn't have cut it in –14 temp!
• Tights: as I wear dresses or skirts to work maternity tights were vital, all mine came from H&M (in black, they don't seem to do skin toned & are still selling woolly ones!) but are VERY comfy, I bought with and without feet in packs of either 2 or 3.
• Dresses: mainly New look, a couple from topshop (naff quality again!) and midi-length tunic from Matalan.
• eBay: a few dresses, and a bundle of 4 maternity tops from various places (for about £6 inc postage!)
• Loungewear/underwear: I went to Primark, go a couple of sizes up (I am normally a 10-12, and went for 16-18 sized T shirt/PJ bottom sets in stretchy material and change into them the moment I get in the door, as the waist bands are perfect for not cutting in/pressing on my bladder! I also bought a few packs of cheapy ‘big’ pants as my old pants were getting a bit too tight for comfort, and once I'm back to my normal size (haha!) I can fling them out without guilt!

 

Topshop (sale) / Newlook T shirt & H&M Skirt / Topshop dress via EBay for £6!

Pearl Lowe at Peacocks (not maternity but stretchy!) / H&M top and skirt (top not maternity, just bigger!) / New look dress (maternity, xmas sale, and has been a work staple!)

And because I love the surroundings so much I'm not cropping this one… (Mevagissey in Cornwall)

Primark Jumper (not maternity, just big!) and Matalan leggings (rolled up because I am a short-ass) over a regular vest top from H&M that used to be longer than that but over the bump it rides up…

Where did you shop for maternity clothes? any more tips to add?