Are we nearly there yet?

 

No we aren’t, I have 14 weeks left still. I was reading ‘what to expect when you’re expecting’ and one of the emotional symptoms for month 6 was something like ‘some boredom with the Pregnancy (why cant people think about something else?!)’. I related instantly, then felt guilty for doing so. But It does really seem like I have been pregnant for ever, but am only 2 thirds of the way through!

As I may or may not have said before, I feel like I would have more of an affinity with 'baby’ if I knew the gender. Instead we are both calling it ‘it’ or sometimes sprog. Personally I don't think this wrong, I'm carrying it, we made it and we can call it what we want… And will when it’s born! However other people have sneered and made their feelings clear (hello, mother in law) about it, and people on Facebook have accused me of not being maternal (coming from a middle aged guy who has no kids I didn't get too offended)

I have also had to endure endless rounds of questioning from various friends & Sam's family members who we visited in our week off and travelling round the country to catch up with people. Some questions bordered on invasive and fell right into the ‘none of your business’ category. I completely understand that each person didn't know that all these questions had been asked yesterday/a week ago by someone else, but people seem to think that just because I’m incubating a new life that it gives them complete freedom to ask really personal questions about the birth/our financial situation/my career/the routine that we will implement and so on and so forth. If these people are women then they of course give anecdotes of ‘in my day we…’ and ‘well you DEFINITELY shouldn't/should do x/y/z…’ I don't even know the answers to half the questions and may not until the time comes for many of the scenarios, I'm worried to death about how we’ll cope and what the future brings, but attempting to focus on being positive and luckily I know that whatever comes at us Sam and I will manage to get through it together.

Anyway it was all a bit overwhelming and I was kind of relieved to be in the car and heading home, although that was also partly because the car was JAM PACKED full of baby related things that we’d been given or bought over the week. So the relief was partly to do with the fact that we started and have subsequently almost accumulated all the things we’ll need for the arrival of the bouncing bundle of joy, hurrah!

We had a few gift cards left from Christmas/various other things, and had other things already as they’d been given to us, so now the catalogue runs as follows…

• 4 ‘grow bags’ in various sizes and togs
• a heap of muslins/bibs
• bottles and teats in different flows (in prep for expressing milk/if breast feeding doesn't work’
• a travel system (2nd hand but for £40!) that includes a car seat/changing bag
• a baby bath
• a play mat (given to as no longer needed, as with the bath)
• a huge bag of toys and the book ‘what to expect in the first year’ (From Sam's cousins)
• an even huger bag of clothes (boyish, but we will pass them on to someone else if we have a girl)
• 3x boxes of nappies (180 in each, supposedly enough for a month) in various sizes
• a cotbed (its PURPLE!) and was 2/3rd off and should last till 4 years old ish, and we got a changing table to go on the top (this will stay in storage at work until we have room for it!)
• a Moses basket (that my mum found at a bargain price, unused in a charity shop!)
• a baby monitor
• a baby carrier
• a huge box of assorted baby care things (cotton wool, breast pads, nipple cream etc!)
• a white rocking chair (this and the last 3 things from my friend Amy, who's baby will be a year old on my due date!)
• We also bought lots of non gender specific vests/sleep suits/clothes etc in various sizes which should be enough to keep us going until we can go out (with the baby!) and buy the rest the clothes that we’ll need

Needless to say I've catalogued everything in sections in my ‘baby notebook’, even down to clothes by size. Now I cant honestly say this organisational streak will continue post partum but its a start, and I now feel SO much happier that we’ve effectively got what we need to be going on with, (Even if we do need to get Sam's friend Theo round to get it all back out of the loft when we need it, because I cant fit through the hole anymore, and Sam never could in the first place!

And before you say it, I know that we haven't got a steriliser yet, but Sam is in charge of the technical things and he’s on the case! What else am I missing?

Seascape goodies winner...

Hello!

Thanks to a random number generator, the winner of the Seascape goodies was..... Cuttlefishlove!

Please get in touch with me (Steph) so I can organise your prize!

Bloody buggy blues...

Buying the buggy for your baby is a rite of passage, right? I was SO excited when we bought the pram/buggy/stroller thing in August; I'd played with all the models in Babies R Us and decided which was best. We hadn't needed a travel system, because we don't have a car. I read the reviews online- they were pretty negative, but I figured that only grumpy people bothered to review stuff (I know I usually review stuff on websites when I've had a bad experience.)

Alas. The buggy turned out to be a nightmare. It was heavy on the big hill on which we live. It had to be broken into two parts for storage. And then the big meltdown occurred last week. D had been screaming all day, I was at my wits' end. I'd rung my husband and my aunt in tears. The latter was on her way to visit me. I decided that the best thing to do was to take D for a walk. We have a good park on our doorstep.

I got the pram ready and wrestled my screaming baby into it. My neighbour from across the street smiled at me sympathetically. I was on the verge of tears and had been for about an hour. And then it happened. The sodding break wouldn't un-break. It was enough to make me turn into a sobbing puddle. Cue my next door neighbour coming outside, offering to take D and informing me that her kettle was on, I could come inside and wait for my aunt. I abandoned the buggy outside for a while.

The next day, my in-laws visited and fixed the break for me. I was utterly relieved- if the buggy wasn't working, I would be very isolated; earlier that day, I'd taken D into town on the bus, in the sling. My back was on the verge of collapse by the time I got home. We couldn't take it back, as we've lost the receipt, which is fantastic. I was very, very happy.

Until Sunday. My sister, mother-in-law and I walked to watch my husband do the local half marathon. It was a nice day, a long walk was fine. All was well until we wanted to move on- and the sodding break refused to un-break again. I'm proud to say I didn't swear at this point. Luckily, my father-in-law was able to fix it again and everything was fine-ish. I was muttering about buying a new buggy, but wasn't serious at that point.

My patience held out until we tried to walk to get the bus- and a wheel fell off. Well. Again, I'm proud to say that again I didn't swear. Instead, I asked my sister if she would mind not travelling back up to Yorkshire until we had a) deposited the baby back at home with some responsible family adult and b) taken me to purchase a new buggy. She agreed, possibly frightened by the cold, hard gleam in my eyes and the calm, monotonous tone to my voice. I was holding it together, clearly.

Anyway, in the end, we bought the following stroller:

It's a Mothercare Mino Plus stroller and I'm a little bit in love with it. We were able to afford it as my grandma had given us a gift card that still had some money on it and my mother-in-law stumped up the rest (although it wasn't extortionate- £94.99). I love it because it's lightweight and has a little pocket at the back where I can put my purse and a bag of crisps. And although I was initially reluctant to put D forward facing, he's such a nosy little blighter that he loves it. Bonus- it weighs less than he does and it's super easy to fold. Although we have a house, it's small, so an origami-like buggy will always win. It is suitable from birth, although I would have been reluctant to put D in it as a tiny baby, this gave me confidence that he would be safe in it. The one downside to the buggy is that it doesn't have a foot muff, but I've just been wrapping a blanket round D's legs, which seems to be OK.

And if you're interested, the demon buggy was this one.

Pregnancy Update week 24

 

Just as I published my last update (week 20) I got flu. The dreaded nasty flu. The doctor said 'bad luck, the flu jab prevents it in 99% of cases, perhaps you caught a really nasty strain' and told me plenty of bed rest and vitamin C. I was off work for a week and felt like utter crap, achy and snotty and a couple of proper migraines flung in for good measure. And I also felt like I wasted time off work because I didn't get anything done round the house (which on reflection I am aware is completely ridiculous, as even loading the dishwasher required a 30 minute kip afterwards) Anyway once I'd been back to work for a week I was off to Prague for a long weekend with the mothership, but the -15 degree temperatures didn't really help the recovery much, not did the soft, unsprung mattress help my hips much.

So, on with the symptoms/experiences:

Sleeping/Energy Levels - I think they would've been better had it not been for the debilitating flu. At least twice a week after work I have a nap for a couple of hours, and my bed times are getting earlier and earlier! We had a week off this week but as normal we managed to pack so much into it (And I did all the driving) so 800 miles and a lot of caching up with people and buying baby bits hasn't done much for my energy levels and I am currently hibernating today in preparation for returning to work tomorrow! Using the pregnancy pillow for sleeping most nights, although I didn't take it away with me, just used a regular pillow instead.

Peeing - we're now up to 2 trips a night, even if I don't drink anything after 8pm and pee right before I get into bed. The other night I peed, went upstairs to take my make-up off and as I was getting into bed I needed to pee again. SO ANNOYING. Might rent a commode for the duration of the pregnancy. And of course the second piddle comes an hour before my alarm goes off, so I find it hard to go back to sleep as my brain has started ticking away thinking about the day ahead. I have managed to train myself to get to the loo and back in pitch black though to try and stay sleepier with no lights.

Constipation - way better than last month, hurrah! 

Acid reflux/heartburn - more acid reflux than heartburn so far, but I've found that chewing a rennie after food  helps keep it at bay slightly, and chocolate and orange juice make it way worse. Amusingly I was ID'd when I bought the rennies...

Back/Hip Pain - lots. and then some more. Each morning I wake up aching on the hip I slept on (or both if I turned over after a bathroom trip) and this is accompanied by lower back pain, which wears off by about 10am ish, but is made worse by a pretty uncomfortable desk chair at work, so I might start taking a cushion in to sit on. A couple of times I've had excruciating upper back pain (go figure!) and my shoulders constantly click when I rotate them. Perhaps a trip to a chiropractor is in order... Amusingly Sam is now experiencing sporadic back pain with no apparent cause, so perhaps its a sympathy pain!

Stretch Marks/Skin- No stretch marks so far, but I did get a good few hormonal spots on my chin just after I got the flu, which obviously I couldn't resist picking, then ended up with a crater for a week, and I'm still getting spots even now. No 'linea nigra' yet either.

Headaches - a couple but not unbearable, only one where I decided to go home from work a couple of hours early and lie in a darkened room.

Leg/foot aches/cramps - this is the weirdest one so far, it is almost as if my legs are recovering from pins and needles, and you have to jiggle whichever (or both) legs to attempt to get them to stop aching. This is a little annoying when it happens at 11.30 at night on a dark road in 2 inches of snow, like last week.

Movement - the sprog is going CRAZY, it's so bizarre, and when I relax for the night is when it really gets going... lots of what feels like 'popping'. 2 weeks ago Sam felt it through my belly for the first time, which was a nice moment.

Size - I am ballooning. the bump is both high and low (impressively) and starts right under my boobs (which have only grown half a cup size) but the expanding rib cage has meant that I have gone up to a... wait for it FORTY band! I was previously a 34/36 depending on the shop. I bought 3 new bras in La Senza that are a 38 but they're too tight (but perhaps they'll stretch a bit with wear, and don't worry they were all reduced to £2.50!) but I've been wearing them with bra strap extenders and this is bearable for now, just! However nothing else seems to have got fatter, apart from my hips, which is obviously my pelvis widening ready for birth rather than just eating too much! maybe...

Hair/Skin - not falling out as much as it was during washing etc, but still is to some extent. Also more grey hairs! Oh and my nails are not strong either, I had my acrylics removed so need to wait a few weeks really to see what their real condition is. And apart from the hormonal spots no weird marks/new freckles either, thank goodness!

That's about it for now, but here are some bump progress snaps!

 

Stuff we like: Seascape Island Apothecary Les Petits body lotion (AND A GIVEAWAY!)

Recently I was sent a few lovely products from Seascape Island Apothecary to review over on my main blog, but the standout product for me has been the Les Petits body lotion. I've been using it on D after bathtime but before bed; the essential oils are lavender and chamomile, a brilliant combo for a little boy who hates sleeping, right?

Image: Seascape

What I love about this is that it's been formulated especially for sensitive baby skin and there are no nasties such as parabens or sulphates. It's a light, easy to absorb lotion and I've also been using it for baby massage when D's colic has turned him into a shouty menace!

In terms of practicality, this is a decent sized bottle and I love, love, love the pump at the top- it's so easy to use one  handed when getting D ready for bed. It also means that you can use just the right amount. We keep this on the changing table, so it's always a go to at bedtime! (I'm also happy to admit I've been using it on myself when my brain has gone into worry overdrive- and it's not affected my eczema-prone skin either.)

I've been lucky enough to be given some excellent Seascape products for one of TRMC's readers:

Soothe Body Butter
Soothe Body Wash
Refresh Hand and Nail Cream
Refresh Handwash

(The Soothe range is maternity friendly- so if you're expecting you should TOTALLY enter this giveaway!)

To win: Simply leave a comment telling me your favourite pregnancy old wives' tale (and why it's your favourite!) and follow via either GFC or Hellocotton (telling us in your comment how you do so and your username.) Don't forget to leave a twitter handle or way to contact you!

Small print: 

• Open to UK residents only
• Winners will be drawn on 22/2/13 at 6pm and be informed within 24 hours
• You must be following us via GFC. This will be checked!

GOOD LUCK!

Stuff we like: Pregnancy Apps

 

Now I never bother paying for apps, I'd rather make do with the ads/slightly less content on a free app that bother coughing up for however much it costs. Also I get bored of things very easily and end up with a phone full of crap I never look at. However, I do like to keep my apps grouped by type, and have been using the 'health' section a lot recently.

The only reason I could give the midwife an accurate (ish) date of conception was due to the period tracker lite app. It lets you note when your period starts and ends, therefore tells you when it is due, and you can keep track of symptoms, and when you 'make love' (for want of a better term!) You can also save the data or have it emailed to you, so if you change phone you have a back record (my previous years of poor diary keeping meant I genuinely had no idea when I was due on, because I had such irregular periods anyway)

Once I knew I had a bun in the oven I downloaded a couple more apps, some of which I have since deleted, but the ones I use the most are:-

'What to Expect Pregnancy' (from the same people who published the book (and subsequent spin off Hollywood blockbuster... hmmmm) my version has ads as it's the free version. You enter in your EDD (estimated due date) and when you open the app you get the screen that tells you how far you are, what size the sprog is and a countdown. Along the bottom you have the weekly and daily sections, with the weekly giving you an overview of what's happening inside overall, and each day giving you tips (varying from food, exercise, symptoms, and once a week or so a tip for the dad (my fave basically being 'ask if she wants to have sex don't assume')

It also has a pictures section, where you can store a picture for each week, but I've not bothered with that as Sam takes one every two weeks for himself (which I share on instagram and here anyway). There is also a forum, based on your expected birth month (access to other forums is possible too) and I've not really bothered with this either.

Sprout app - Very similar to the above, but gives you a creepy 3d sort of image of your unborn child, with bits to click to find out more. The next section 'doc says' also gives a weekly and daily breakdown of information, but if a certain topic interests you you can click it to add it to the 'ask your doctor' list, which appears in the organiser tab, which lists things by section (ask the doc, a to do list, a list of new-born essentials and what to pack in your hospital bag) Obviously I am too much of a list-addict to pass up on writing my own lists, and as previously mentioned I have a whole sectioned notebook for preparing for this child, BUT if you are not manual-to-do-list inclined then its a useful feature for shizzle!

The last section 'tools' has a weight tracker, so you can monitor your weight gain, a kick counter and a contraction timer (most of which are the 'paid for' features in other pregnancy apps)

Womancy - more similar to the period tracker app, it shows you a calendar and lets you put your current symptoms in, along with the option of your weight and waist size, which you can then view on a graph. However I weight myself in stones and pounds, and the idea of converting it first is too much effort so I've not bothered so far, but for a free app if you did want to keep track of these then its a decent option.

The other often used app in my health section is 'white noise' (I have two, each app has slightly different sounds) and although these days I am so tired I can fall asleep anywhere generally, pre pregnancy I used to get a few sleepless nights, particularly when I was really stressed. Basically the app plays a background noise that lulls you (hopefully) to sleep, but I have friends who say that these apps can work well with young babies too (and are a cheaper, if somewhat far more inconvenient (if you actually need to USE your phone) option that Ewan the dream sheep, for example)

Bumpology- review and interview with Linda Geddes

I was very lucky to be sent a review copy of Linda Geddes' new book Bumpology. It's a book that I wish I'd had when I was pregnant; as a journalist for The New Scientist, Linda researched all the common myths, theories and ideas about pregnancy, childbirth and infant development in order to sort the facts from the fiction. I would have seriously benefitted from some of the research in the book, but I've still found it useful as the mum of a three-month old. I also really liked the layout of the book- bitesized chunks of information which was brilliant to dip in and out of when D was catnapping! I would definitely recommend this book to all pregnant women (and their partners- my husband said that he wished he'd known some of the stuff I told him!) There's information on serious stuff, like epidurals, tearing (ouch!) and health risks, but also more light-hearted studies on eye colour, language and cravings. In short, it's fab.

Image: Waterstones

I've got to be honest though, that I first became aware of Linda and Bumpology when she inadvertently caused a Twitter storm; after an appearance on Radio 4 discussing the book, Linda discussed how she felt about the NCT. This in turn led to Kirstie Allsop denouncing the NCT as a 'scary organisation'. (I must admit, I never wanted NCT classes and had antenatal classes from a different provider- but my choice was because I'd had friends who didn't find it useful.) You can read blogs on the debate from Linda, Kirstie and the head of the NCT, Belinda Phipps.

Excitingly, Linda agreed to be interviewed for TRMC...

Image: lindageddes.com

What was the idea behind Bumpology?

When I was pregnant with my first child, I had all sorts of questions that I couldn’t find answers to in conventional pregnancy books. Things like: when will my fetus become conscious? Can my unborn baby taste what I’m eating? Does it have memory? 

At the same time I felt bombarded with information about what I could and couldn’t do during pregnancy. I felt pretty sceptical about some of it, but anxious about not following it just in case. So I decided to investigate the research underpinning some of this advice to try and figure out what I really should be worrying about.

What was the most surprising thing you learnt whilst researching pregnancy/babies?

There were so many surprises. One of the most fascinating things I learned was how much babies already understand about the world by the time they’re born. For example, they already know their mother’s voice and smell, and can recognise their native language. They have an inbuilt appreciation of numbers, and what a human face looks like. They really aren’t born blank slates at all.

Did anything you learnt disturb you?

Yes. While I was writing the book I fell pregnant for the second time and started to revisit many of the things my NCT teacher, midwives and health visitors told me the first time around, which I had just accepted as fact. Things like, if you have an epidural during labour it will increase your risk of needing a c-section, tearing, or having an instrumental delivery. Or if you introduce a feeding bottle or dummy to a breastfeeding newborn they will become confused and reject the breast. I discovered that some of these things were not supported by any scientific evidence, while for others, if there was an increased risk, it was a tiny one. I think antenatal teachers need to be more critical of any “evidence” they cite when discussing birth or babies, because it has the potential to generate a lot of unnecessary anxiety – particularly among women who have never done any of this before.

Did you find that the research changed your ideas or perceptions of any aspect of pregnancy or early motherhood?

I think it made me more relaxed about the whole thing, because I realised that many of the things we are told to worry about have a negligible effect. I also realised that a lot of the parenting methods that seemed instinctively right to me – things like not rocking or feeding your baby to sleep every time; or having a structure to your baby’s day, but not enforcing a strict routine – were actually backed by evidence. The research also suggested that no single method of bringing up babies is correct. You don’t have to follow Gina Ford or the Baby Whisperer to the letter to have a healthy happy baby.

 

Were you surprised by the Kirstie Allsop/NCT debate that was sparked by your Radio 4 interview?

No, because although I think there are some very good NCT teachers out there, and the NCT as a central organisation is pretty evidence-based, there are plenty of NCT teachers who do seem to be pushing an agenda. The number of comments Kirstie Allsopp’s Tweet prompted goes to show just how many parents feel let down by their antenatal teachers.

What advice would you give to pregnant/new mums?

Accept that you have no idea what your labour will be like, so try to keep an open mind about all medical interventions. And be a bit sceptical of people claiming that some behaviour or action increases the risk of something bad happening to your baby. Ask for the evidence and try to figure out how big the risk is. Or just read Bumpology!

You can follow Linda on Twitter: @lindageddes

Her blog is here

Trying to get inspired

 

Now don’t get me wrong, I am very excited to be having a baby, and can’t wait to watch it learn, grow, explore and develop. But I've not yet bought one thing for the new arrival. No clothes, no furniture or anything. Well, actually I bought some nappy bags and some wet wipes in poundland the other day, but I don't think that counts. I’ve bought a notebook with sections in for ‘what we need’/’what we’ve been lent’/’in an ideal world we would buy…’ and we’ve been given some bits too…

So in a bid to try and get excited about actually buying things and planning the nursery, I’ve been having a snoop around Pinterest (all images link to the original pin)

The Bam-B crib – it turns into all sorts of other things. Incredibly pricey as you have to purchase all the bits for it separately, but in theory, and if money were no object, a useful bit of furniture!

Labelled drawers, so the sprog can get itself dressed (obviously not for a few years yet…) But I know already that I want my sprog to be as self dependent as possible as early as possible.

Completely cutesy and something I would never manage to keep looking neat, but I like the big flowery things… we’ve kept a couple of the strings of origami birds that Sam made for our wedding decor to go up in the sprogs room.

We already have wall decals in our bedroom, and they are a really easy way to add interest to a room, especially if you are renting and/or covering up mouldy bits… (which is another reason to want to move by the time the baby arrives!)

Seriously, who's house actually LOOKS like like half the stuff you see on pinterest… anyway, I like to idea of big baskets to keep stuff tidy.

How completely OTT is this? I’ve pinned a couple of completely outrageous bedrooms on my baby board too, seriously these people must be rich beyond belief, plus your kid would only fit in the above bed till it was about three, maximum!

If you’re a mama then at what stage did you start to get excited for planning and buying things? Someone accused me of not being particularly maternal the other day, which I thought was a bit harsh, I'm making the most of not having a house full of mess actually!

Adventures in baby wearing... part 2

I've been using a sling now for the best part of a month and I'm pretty much sold on the idea. So much so that I've actually bought another sling that's better designed for bigger babies. Although I would have absolutely loved a bright, colourful sling, in the end I chose a reasonably priced Victoria Slinglady bamboo/linen woven wrap. However, the wrapping element is a bit trickier, as the fabric is tougher with less stretch. So I'm a bit more cautious when trying to tie this; I've not managed to get D in it as I'm worried I'll drop him on his head!

The Moby is good for now, but I am feeling that D is already a bit heavy for it- I think it'll have limited use after a few more weeks. I have taken him out in the wrap three times: once to the train station down the road, once to the local shop and also to the local park. He absolutely loved being able to see everything (men in hi-vis vests are a favourite, it seems!) I also found that I chattered more to him; it felt easier and more natural than when he's in the buggy.

Our ventures into the outside world were somewhat curtailed because of the snow- we live on a massive hill and it was so icy. When I did take him out, it was in the buggy. I didn't fancy taking the risk. I've also been a bit unsure as to how much he needs to wear when we go out-  I don't want him to be too hot or too cold.

I did intend to take him to a sling meet last week, but alas, I couldn't find my keys and so became a sobbing mess. By the time I had found them, the meet was all but over and I just had a hankering for chocolate. Anyway, I intend to go next month and learn how to tie the linen wrap; I shall report back!

In the meantime, I thought I would show you some amazing photos of babywearing around the world that I found around the internet:

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