Bump update Week 34

[for previous bump updates click here]

34 weeks and a couple of days

So here’s an update of symptoms/happenings etc… (with some holiday snaps flung in just because I can!)

Itchiness & Skin: Still no stretch marks as yet, but more itchiness like I got back in the first trimester on my hands and feet mainly, which is very odd, but the cream I was prescribed back then has helped! Where I had my belly button pierced twice, and a small scar from when I had my appendix out have been a bit sore where the skin is stretching ever tighter over the bump, but not painful really, just enough to notice (I took both belly rings out when I knew I was pregnant, Sam hated them anyway and I didn't want them to pop out or anything gross!) I’ve been lathering on various creams and things on an almost daily basis, not forgetting my back/thighs/bum too!

Headaches: I’ve had a couple, after not having any for a good few months, but nothing a good sleep and a couple of paracetomol didn't fix, apart from one that needed co-codamol and a darkened room to get rid of, but I'd driven for about 4 hours and then endured 2 small boys screaming when we went to see Sam's cousins.

Sleeping/Energy Levels – Still not brilliant, but I have started taking Feroglobin liquid x3 a day which is meant to help your iron levels, and have been eating lots of green veggies when I can. I think carting around a huge belly would take its toll on my energy levels whether I’m anaemic or not, plus the fact that I have been hurtling around Cornwall visiting castles on hills/islands/caves etc hasn't helped much! I still appreciate a good nap when I can get one of course! As for sleeping I am having broken nights sleep (piddling) and also still getting pretty bad nightmares a lot of the the time but am napping when I can!

[gratuitous holiday snap of St Michaels Mount, which was all cobbled slopes, not ideal but pretty!]

Position: Baby is head down and facing towards my back, or so MW says, all good with me, hope it stays there till it has to come out!

Peeing – My Midwife says my constant urge to pee is because sprogs head is pressing on my bladder, and I agree with her completely. Literally I can pee immediately after leaving the toilet having done a pee… Its really irritating and my 3 trips a night to the toilet are killing me. There was ONE glorious night a couple of weeks ago where I didn't go during the night, but it was a one off apparently (and no, I didn't pee in the bed!) Often when the sprog stretches (i.e. it’s little rump sticks upwards and it’s head presses downwards at the same time) I am thankful I started doing kegel exercises a few weeks back as there have been a few near misses!

Acid reflux/heartburn – Much worse in the last 4 weeks, I’m attempting to eat smaller portions and not as close to bed time, and sleeping with more pillows so I am raised a but higher in bed seems to help a little.

Back/Hip Pain – Not horrific, although a little old lady came up to me in Asda the other day to specifically tell me ‘you never forget the feel of back pain in pregnancy you know’ THANKS LADY. In all honesty it isn’t that bad, I think I have fairly good posture anyway from all the dancing I did, which hopefully has helped. I get achy when I wake up, but after I've been up for a little bit it fades. Hot baths help at the end of a long day to. I did overdo the walking in holiday and got achier than normal but that’s my own fault really! I’m not wearing any kind of bump support or anything either…

Cramps / Braxton Hicks – Still getting bloody painful leg cramps, and have had a few Braxton Hicks fake contraction things, which are not pleasant and quite alarming at first (although husband once called them ‘branston hocks’, which was amusing) but they’re not painful, just surprising.

Movement – Still squirming at pretty much every waking moment, sticking its bum up under my ribs when I am driving and generally making most positions uncomfortable in the evenings when I am trying to sit still and it is having a whale of a time wriggling. The last week has been particularly difficult as bump has grown, as it is so hard to get comfortable sitting/lounging/in bed, and I can only see this getting worse until the bump becomes a baby!

Size – My last midwife appointment (at 33 weeks) was the first time the bump measured more than the number of weeks I am, and even then by only a cm, so it’s still not ‘big’, which is a good thing in my mind! I have an appointment with a obstetrician this week and I am hoping he/she offers me a growth scan then, so we’ll have a better idea of its size, and the size of the head more importantly! Needless to say bending down is nigh on impossible and rolling out of bed sometimes requires a push from Sam! I am also lots and lots slower, and run out of breath quicker than a 90 year old with a 60 a day smoking habit.

And as for my size, in the last couple of weeks I have felt distinctly frumpy and flabby. My midwife said she definitely didn't think I had anything to worry about weight-gain wise, and I haven't weighed myself for a few weeks so not sure if I’ve put that much more on, but I think my thighs and upper arms are bigger than they were, but to be frank I like food, and have spent the last week devouring cream teas and various other unhealthy things whilst on holiday so ce la vie! Oh, and my boobs STILL haven't gone up by more than a cupsize and have put on exactly 2 stone since I got impregnanted!

Cravings – none. SO annoying, I wanted to crave something awesome and hard for Sam to get hold of when I got demanding, but no such luck!

Swelling – none, apart from ankles slightly at the end of very long days!

Mood – Still anxious about many things, and with a lower tolerance level then ever before (it was pretty low to begin with!) but no tears!

Maternity Leave – remember I talked in this post about not knowing who I was going to be handing my huge and complex hotel over to whilst I am on mat leave? well I know now and am happy with who it is, so have finally made the decision as to when I will stop work, which in my 39th week. However if I do have to stop before I know that I won’t be leaving anyone in the crap so to speak! I am also lucky in the sense that I can work to my own schedule and cut days shorter if needs be. Work is also only a 10 minute waddle from home and 5 minutes in a cab to the hospital should anything drastic happen…

Things I need to do: Pack a hospital bag! dun dun dunnnnnnnn!

I’ve also been to 2 out of 3 ante-natal classes that are run by the local NHS, the first one was about the stages of labour, and breathing etc, which I didn't find that helpful as I've been reading all sorts of books etc but Sam did, he he claims he’ll know what to expect now, so that’s a bonus! We also did an exercise where the mums and dads had to split into two groups and write down what we thought the qualities of a good birthing partner would be, and actually the 2 lists weren't that different! Basically we had “do everything I ask you to and don't get upset when I shout at you” and theirs was “do everything she says!” There was a creepy looking baby in a fabric womb though, along with a knitted boob (which acted as a bladder!)

Class 2 was about ‘when things don’t go to plan’ and I went to this on my own as Sam couldn't get out of work. It covered pain relief including epidurals/forceps/other types of deliveries and C-sections, and I must say was pretty helpful as the Midwife went through everything in detail and answered all our questions thoroughly. The next class is about breast feeding and the first few days at home, and we have to bring a dolly/teddy to practise with, which will be difficult as I own neither!

Another sweet and reassuring phenomenon is that we’ve spent the week with some close friends and their 10 month old on holiday, and Sam has taken a huge interest in how things work, including feeding times/methods (he fed her himself a few times with great glee!) and ‘nipple’ size (he meant teats on bottles but we’ll let him off!)

That’s about it for now, I've just got back home from our week away, so am desperate for a long hot bath and my own bed but it’s okay… only 3 weeks left until mat leave!

 

[underground caves and steps at Tintagel Castle!]

Strange things people have said to me in pregnancy

A collection of things people have said to me that have made my eyebrows either raise quizically, or almost meet in anger... feel free to add your own annoyance from people in the comments!

• "Which School will you send it to?" HELLO PEOPLE it is currently no bigger than a sweet potato or other medium sized vegetable. In 5 years time I do not even know where I will be living, let alone where I might send it to learn. I answered 'I'm going to home school it of course' which shut them up long enough for me to make my escape
• "I bet people rub your belly ALL the time right?" At week 17ish with a bump that could just be over indulgence (and some of it probably was if I am honest, it was Christmas after all...) NO actually, you were the first person to do that and if I wasn't quite close to you I would have thumped you in the nose. (since then one more person has asked and was shot down rather quickly, but way more people have just reached out and touched it!)
• "Are you sure it isn't twins" yes I am, there was quite clearly only one sprog on that first scan, and actually you inferring that I am fat. I have lost count of the amount of people who have asked this, the last time was the gas man at work, so I retorted with "no, are you?" (he had a HUGE beer belly)
• "When are you going to have the next one" this was met with a harsh glare that my grandmother would have been proud of. 
• "Did you MEAN to get pregnant before you got married"/"was it planned"/"how long did it take you to conceive"/"bet you were pissed off you were pregnant and couldn't drink at your own wedding/honeymoon, haha"  all from people who really are not close enough to me to have the right to ask these questions...(is anyone close enough to ask this kind of thing!?) and NO I wasn't pissed off I couldn't drink, if you were actually a close friend you know I barely drink anyway.
• "I wonder how long you will be in labour for... my mum/sister/second cousin thrice removed was in labour for 2/4/19" days etc The first of these questions/useless statements was asked of me at 13 weeks pregnant, when I had barely even thought about it actually coming out of me. 
• "Your body will never be the same again" (with a certain smirk I'm sure) 
• "Your husband is HUGE, the baby is going to be a whopper/do some damage on the way out" thanks for that lovely input. I am already having nightmares about giving birth to something the size of a Christmas Turkey to feed a family of 10, I don't need your input. Plus I was a normal sized baby so there is hope yet!
• "so, like, errrr are you drinking more milk so you can feed the baby?" This is from a guy who is MY AGE, ie 29. I just gawped at him, I thought he was joking but he wasn't, he's just THAT thick.
• "I mean, I'm just not sure if I'll ever have kids, they're just so permanent, you're stuck with them forever, they'll ALWAYS rely on you, for everything" Yep, thanks for that observation, friend.

Life in Limbo

[.]

I like to have things planned to a T. A huge big fat CAPITAL T. When things are not planned and/or I have no control over them I get anxious, and often angry. My life seems to be in Limbo right now, for a various number of reasons, the main being the obvious one of the imminent arrival of baby KPB (don't worry, I'm not going to give it a triple barrelled surname, I wouldn't be so cruel!) and then the smaller but still important issues of where are we going to live, same place, different, next town over? Will I go back to work? more importantly when will I stop work to start maternity leave? How will we cope with Sam not having a bog standard working pattern? Will I get lonely once our house mate moves out/we move out, with Sam working late at night? How will we afford to pay for things without my Salary?

I figured the best way to tackle these things is to get my thoughts down on paper (blog-paper?) and then see how other people coped/plan to cope, and I have been speaking to my GP about how best to tackle anxiety (more on this at a later date, potentially but there is a bit more to it) and I know one of the best ways is to discuss my thoughts with people, but as I don't have a particularly deep relationship with the mothership (I think this is because I don't like to worry her) and my husband is like an excited puppy and always has a positive spin on everything (which normally is ideal, as he is the positive to my negative, but sometimes I do NEED someone to be blatant with me and point out things that might crop up in a negative/constructive aspect, and not just say "it'll be fine, wait and see") SO here goes...

Where will we live? Long story short there is a slight possibility that a friend will let us his 2 bed flat at the cost of his mortgage (plus bills, but still about 400 less than the going market rate) BUT only if the current tenants want to leave at the end of their 12 month tenancy, which is through a letting agent. (keeping them would give him more income, but if they left he'd rather have someone he knows in the flat) This flat is in Worthing (half an hour drive away) but right next to the train station for easy travel/Sam to get to and from work and also has a car parking space with it,so I could get my car back on the road. It has 2 beds/2 baths and is about 3 years old, plus we have 2 close friends who happen to live in the same road. It is also closer than where we are now to my mums house, and other friends. So we have to wait a few more weeks to see if that will work out. If it does it is too good to turn down. If it doesn't then we would more than likely stay where we are, (a 2 bed maisonette in central Brighton) but would need to cover the whole rent, as opposed to the half we pay now (our lovely housemate will be moving out) and of course we would be paying around an extra £100 a month in bills too, which was her share. All this with me earning SMP and not my salary. We contemplated moving somewhere cheaper, but actually our rent is cheap compared to other similar places, so to move somewhere noticeably cheaper we'd have to move right to the outskirts of Brighton, making it more difficult for Sam to get to and from work (currently a ten minute walk for both he and I).

conclusion: there isn't one yet!

Will I go back to work? When will I stop work? without bemoaning my company/area manager too much I will say that considering I told him I was expecting at 9 weeks pregnant (to get them off my back about a potential move to maidstone!) and at the time of writing I have 8 weeks left till me EDD and no decision has been made I'm pretty pissed off! I know who I want to cover for me, (I manage a large hotel for anyone that didn't know) as I have spent a lot of time with him over the last few years and know that he would do everything efficiently and properly and already works in the hotel so he knows all the intricacies and ins and outs, whereas if the decision is made that it will be someone external the handover period will take potentially 2 or 3 weeks, bearing in mind I have the last week of April off and ideally don't want to work till the baby actually falls out leaves not very long at all. Another gripe is that we were told he would make a decision on the 1st April, but then realised the day before good Friday that he was on holiday all that week and "do you mind covering for me Lauren" so not only an increased work load during the Easter holidays (already the busiest time of the year so far) but who forgets they are going on holiday?!!!! OH and a third gripe, my last regional manager told me I should get a say in the cover as it is 'your hotel' but he's since moved regions and my area manager seems more intent on being seen to make the right decision than actually making it! does he not realise this is stressing me out big style?! (I have told him how I feel, by the way, I'm pretty vociferous but he clearly has no back bone and doesn't want to rock the boat with the 'higher uppers' because he's new to the position!) GRRRR

As for if I will go back, I genuinely don't know. I would love not to, and have a bit of a career break, but actually my main worry is not money but boredom. I've worked solidly full time for the same company and I'm not sure how I'd cope going from high stress levels and being busy and active 5 days a week (or more!) to basically sitting on my bum watching my child grow up. I've contemplated doing a foundation degree type thing through the open university (which is pretty cheap if you are a low income family, which we would be if just Sam was working) and re training to do something that I could do to my own schedule, but I'm just not sure what. Then if we have another child later down the line, I would effectively be putting my career on hold even longer, if we waited for the (hypothetical) 2nd child to reach school age... Also I earn more money than Sam, so it would make more financial sense for me to go back and for him to leave, but I think maybe I'm ready for something different!

conclusion: who knows?

Shift patterns and family routine. Fairly often Sam works 5 nights a week. And by nights I mean 3pm - 3/4am. He often has different and separate days off in a week and, and doesn't generally know what these will be till only a few days before (thanks Sam's bosses, you make planning really easy) At first I was dreading the long evenings alone (as lovely flatmate will have moved out by then, or we will have!) from 3 till god knows when, but then when I thought about it a bit more, once baby KPB is sleeping more to a routine and is going to bed around 7pm, SO CAN I!!) I wont need to feel obliged to do married people things like cook him dinner and watch a film together, I can just have a nice relaxing bath (positive thinking!) read a bit of my book and then be asleep by 9pm with no distractions or guilt at not spending time with my husband, ready for the inevitable middle of the night feeds. Sam has even said that if it works out that the baby will need a feed within an hour of him getting home, he can do it!

Then providing he wakes up at a reasonable time (normally 10/11am after a late night shift) hopefully the baby will have had a morning nap and we can have nice family time/lunch together whilst the sprog is awake (and yay for eating a bigger meal at lunch time, more time to burn off the calories!) then I can walk into town with Sam to get out of the house on his way to work.

conclusion: this one could benefit everyone!

So, a potential positive one out of three. Brilliant, no wonder I'm stressed.

How did you cope with things that you couldn't control, either when pregnant or in other phases of life?

Pregnancy update week 30

 

I’m a week and a bit late with this update if I'm going by my every 4 weeks rule, but seeing as I set the rule I figure I can break it… Wednesday marks the start of the 31st week of being up le duff, or 30 weeks and zilch days if we go by the midwife countdown…

here’s the low down…

Sleeping/Energy Levels – My last blood tests revealed I have low iron levels, which explains the on-going tiredness, though the last trimester is more tiring than the middle one anyway which makes sense. I wanted to avoid having to take iron tablets on prescription as they play merry havoc with IBS from previous experience (both me and my mum regularly go through anaemic phases so I’ve had them in the past and they do strange things to your bowels/droppings!) instead I am eating lots of green veg and red meat.

Peeing – still piddling a lot, and managing to expel about 5x more liquid that I ingest. How is that even possible? I have also (TMI coming up…) had to start wearing party-liners daily as a couple of severe sneezes/coughing fits have resulted in slight leakage (I was mortified but apparently it happens to almost everyone and if they say it didn't they're lying!)

Acid reflux/heartburn – on and off, sometimes I will have eaten nothing for hours, and wake up with it really badly and need to find some rennies STAT in an attempt to clear it up!

Back/Hip Pain – In all honesty I would have to say that the pain hasn't got worse, although it may just be that I am learning to live with it! My fancy new ergonomic high backed desk chair at work has helped, plus the fact that I have attempting to walk for at least half an hour a day.

Stretch Marks/Skin- still no stretch marks, still lathering on various creams and potions when I remember, and no linea nigra yet either. Belly button has NOT stuck out at any point… though maybe this is because it’s dead from having two different piercings (I took them out when I got pregnant) and a scar from my appendectomy in it. But I'm pleased because it freaks me out when they poke out. Facially my hormonal spots have pretty much cleared up too!

Headaches – hardly any since the last update, I've only had to take tablets for it once.

Cramps – more ‘restless leg syndrome’ than ever, coupled with 3 bouts this week of excruciating pain in my left calve. Picture this, you’re happily asleep, then suddenly your calve muscle tenses up in a MAJOR way and you wake up wanting to scream but you can’t because your husband only got into bed and fell asleep after a 16 hour shift an hour ago and it would be mean. You then lie there for 15 minutes trying to clench and un clench your toes in a vain attempt for the muscle to contract and go back to normal. THEN you have trouble putting all your weight on your leg when you need to go to the toilet and promptly fall over when you get out of bed, and wake the husband up. OH, and I've also had some very bizarre crotch-area cramps this week, like shooting pains in the vag, not pleasant!

Movement – almost had a dangerous spillage when sprog did a major kick/flip knocking a bottle of nail varnish off the bump, but luckily the lid was still semi screwed on, phew! Sprog loves to wiggle about in the bath too.

Size – I have put on just under 2 stone, and the midwife says this is absolutely nothing to worry about, as the ‘average’ (ie if you were of a normal BMI when you got pregnant) person should put on around 2.5 stone overall. I think my legs are a bit chunkier, but people have said that facially I don’t look any bigger, which is a bonus, to be honest I'm not watching what I eat at all, so I'm surprised I am not looking like a beached whale.

Hair/Skin – hair is growing at rapunzel type speed, which is good. It also seems a lot shinier than normal, which is awesome. In other hair related news, I have purchased a ladyshave type device as I can no longer see my hoo-hoo, and shaving with a regular razor in the shower was getting dangerous. I figure this will be easier to use when I attempt to ‘neaten’ certain bits in preparation for the hospital (and then a lot quicker and less dangerous when I am attempting to shower between naps post birth!)

Cravings – nothing! dull eh. I am eating a lot of sweet things though.

Swelling – nothing yet, shoes still fit, ankles still look like they did before, wedding ring still fit too.

Mood – No major mood  swings (lucky for Sam eh!) but a number of various anxieties that I am not going to share here, perhaps at a later date but for now I'm seeing my MW with more regularity than normal, and saw my GP this week about it too.

No other symptoms that I can think of, and with ten and a half weeks to go till D-day I’m hoping that nothing gets too bad! We’ve got a week away planned at the end of April with friends in Cornwall, and as long as I can drive there and back okay I don’t really mind if I'm too round to do anything as we’ve hired a gorgeous barn conversion and I'll happily spend the week reading/dozing/chatting with friends. I still haven't made a decision on when to stop working, mainly because I don’t know who is covering for me when I'm on mat leave, (if it was up to me I would’ve made the decision weeks ago, but alas it is not within my control and is causing me grief, as handing over a hotel isn't a quick task, and if it’s not the person I want it to be its a 2 week job, minimum!) 

  

Now everyone tells me I look ‘big’ for my dates, however the midwife measured the bump and it is NORMAL I tell you!!! Snap on the right taken Wednesday before last, at the start of the 29th week (Or 28+0) and I am noticeably bigger already, which is the idea I guess! My coat doesn't fit anymore, so it better get warmer soon! I think people just think I'm big because I'm a midget…

Useful things to make Pregnancy easier

 

Pregnacare (or similar!) combined pills – I am useless  at remembering to take pills and tablets, so have a combined pill that has all the right vitamins and minerals in means only having to remember to take one pill a day, and that I can just about manage. More info on the boots website here

A pregnancy pillow (or a spare normal pillow) – Some nights I toss and turn too much and end up flinging the thing out of bed, but mostly I am exhausted enough to conk out and not move till I need to go for a wee, I posted already about mine here, but you can just sleep with a regular pillow between your legs and under your bump, but it’s a good idea to not sleep on your back when the bump gets bigger, it can trap nerves and make your legs go numb!

Crackers/cereal bars/ginger hobnobs – in the first few months they help to stave off pregnancy, and in the last few months they’ve been perfect to keep at work for a quick snack (I don't take a  lunch break at work, just graze throughout the day) and for early mornings, I'll have a cereal bar on the way to work then have a bowl of cereal/porridge when I get to work (the only bonus of early starts is that I have chefs on hand at the hotel to cook, I’m just fed up of of cooked breakfasts after so many years there!)

A pregnancy app- See this post (& this week according to the app the baby is as big as the head of a cauliflower, in case you were wondering!)

Loose fitting PJs – comfort over style, primarks biggest size work wonderfully, but I have to roll them up because I am short.

Something that smells nice to slather on sore stretched skin – I have been using a multitude of things (don't want to get bored!) but most recently have been loving the Seascape Soothe range (reviewed here)

Rennies/antacid tablets – don’t leave the house without them. keep them by the bed, in your bag, on your desk, in the car, EVERYWHERE! they’re a godsend. The weird thing is that I can go a couple of days without any heartburn/acid reflux, then for a few days EVERYTHING gives it to me!

A food delivery service (or an obliging partner/friend who will do it with you) – Asda delivers my groceries, and I top up at local shops on the way home from work. If Sam and I both had time together to go to the supermarket (i.e. if we didn't work at opposite times to each other) then I would make more of an effort to go, but waddling round the supermarket with a trolley then battling the old ladies on the bus with the bags isn't my idea of fun (although it is good exercise, see next point!)

Regular exercise – I'm not saying run a marathon, but unless your Dr tells you otherwise its a really good idea to keep doing non-strenuous exercise, even if its just walking, but there are lots of yoga videos on YouTube (here are some third trimester ones, as that’s what I am now) but there are local classes in most areas I expect, definitely in Brighton anyway!

A cleaning lady/man – I don’t have one of these, but if money were no object I would get help in an instant. Cleaning bathroom/kitchen floors on my hands and knees is getting difficult and tiring, and I'm only going to get bigger. Plus I only like to clean when I'm in the right mood, and that hardly ever happens!

A comfy bra – I’m still on the lookout for one of these! I purchased some non wired bras from M&S and they were just really unflattering, and still not that comfy. Yesterday a very nice lady in La Senza measured me, but all their bra’s are of the bullet proof padding variety, with underwire. She gave me a ‘body kiss’ to try on which was so padded round the underwire that you could hardly feel it, but I didn't want all the ‘oomph’ so I didn't buy it. She did however make me try a smaller band a bigger cup, which seemed to work slightly better than what I was going for before, so the hunt continues, and in the mean time I bought a maternity bra and a nursing bra from Mothercare in their sale, which are doing for now. Needless to say the moment I shut the door behind me when I get in the bra comes off and the PJs go on.

a smaller handbag – I was carrying around all kinds of crap I didn't need, so I changed to a smaller one (slightly) and make a point of emptying out the stuff I don't need every couple of days, because dragging around all the extra weight wasn’t doing my shoulders any good at all!

Please do feel free to add your couldn't-do-withouts below!

Birth plan, part 1

 

I don't really know where to start with a ‘birth plan’. I spoke to my midwife about it at last weeks appointment, and she said that basically it can be as detailed or as simple as you want it to be, but that of course sometimes things just don’t go to plan, so always keep an open mind. As an aside, I really like this midwife, my first few appointments were all with someone different and one of them was quite possibly the most unhelpful person I've met, after looking at my notes a few weeks ago she had managed to write down my height wrong, and a few other anomalies had crept in too.

Anyway, I digress, I explained to the MW that I didn't really know where to start with thinking about the birth, and in actual fact I had quite a lot of anxiety about it, amongst other things. She said it needs to cover three main areas, which can be as detailed or as simple as you want them to be.

• What is important to you (who do you want with you, where do you want to do it? )
• What you feel are priorities (including pain relief/coping techniques, do you want your baby cleaned before being given to you etc)
• How you want things to happen after the birth (breastfeeding or formula, vitamin K injection or not…)

So I am right at the beginning stages of the process, and so far all I know is that a) Sam will be with me and not my mother/anyone else, BUT that if things go on for a while and he needs a break, but that b) a friend who lives not far from the hospital and had her baby there a few years ago will be on hand for support if possible, which is good to know. In the true spirit of my ever growing procrastination, I actually made a full and detailed list of what to pack in my hospital bag instead of getting any further with the birth plan, but i’ve started thinking about it and have 13 weeks left anyway, so expect another post on the subject further down the line!

Tools and things you may find helpful:

The NHS Birth plan webpage, you can fill out online and print it for your records

The NHS 'how to write a birth plan video’ which you can watch here

The Tell me a good birth story website (Steph found this website really useful before she had D, and recommended it to me)

Bountys advice on writing a birth plan

And the Netmums take on it

and just for the sake of argument, here is an article that I found about why ‘birth plans are worse than useless’ (the 899 comments on the article don’t agree!)

 

If you are a mum already, how closely did your experience resemble your birth plan, if you had one? Any tips?

Are we nearly there yet?

 

No we aren’t, I have 14 weeks left still. I was reading ‘what to expect when you’re expecting’ and one of the emotional symptoms for month 6 was something like ‘some boredom with the Pregnancy (why cant people think about something else?!)’. I related instantly, then felt guilty for doing so. But It does really seem like I have been pregnant for ever, but am only 2 thirds of the way through!

As I may or may not have said before, I feel like I would have more of an affinity with 'baby’ if I knew the gender. Instead we are both calling it ‘it’ or sometimes sprog. Personally I don't think this wrong, I'm carrying it, we made it and we can call it what we want… And will when it’s born! However other people have sneered and made their feelings clear (hello, mother in law) about it, and people on Facebook have accused me of not being maternal (coming from a middle aged guy who has no kids I didn't get too offended)

I have also had to endure endless rounds of questioning from various friends & Sam's family members who we visited in our week off and travelling round the country to catch up with people. Some questions bordered on invasive and fell right into the ‘none of your business’ category. I completely understand that each person didn't know that all these questions had been asked yesterday/a week ago by someone else, but people seem to think that just because I’m incubating a new life that it gives them complete freedom to ask really personal questions about the birth/our financial situation/my career/the routine that we will implement and so on and so forth. If these people are women then they of course give anecdotes of ‘in my day we…’ and ‘well you DEFINITELY shouldn't/should do x/y/z…’ I don't even know the answers to half the questions and may not until the time comes for many of the scenarios, I'm worried to death about how we’ll cope and what the future brings, but attempting to focus on being positive and luckily I know that whatever comes at us Sam and I will manage to get through it together.

Anyway it was all a bit overwhelming and I was kind of relieved to be in the car and heading home, although that was also partly because the car was JAM PACKED full of baby related things that we’d been given or bought over the week. So the relief was partly to do with the fact that we started and have subsequently almost accumulated all the things we’ll need for the arrival of the bouncing bundle of joy, hurrah!

We had a few gift cards left from Christmas/various other things, and had other things already as they’d been given to us, so now the catalogue runs as follows…

• 4 ‘grow bags’ in various sizes and togs
• a heap of muslins/bibs
• bottles and teats in different flows (in prep for expressing milk/if breast feeding doesn't work’
• a travel system (2nd hand but for £40!) that includes a car seat/changing bag
• a baby bath
• a play mat (given to as no longer needed, as with the bath)
• a huge bag of toys and the book ‘what to expect in the first year’ (From Sam's cousins)
• an even huger bag of clothes (boyish, but we will pass them on to someone else if we have a girl)
• 3x boxes of nappies (180 in each, supposedly enough for a month) in various sizes
• a cotbed (its PURPLE!) and was 2/3rd off and should last till 4 years old ish, and we got a changing table to go on the top (this will stay in storage at work until we have room for it!)
• a Moses basket (that my mum found at a bargain price, unused in a charity shop!)
• a baby monitor
• a baby carrier
• a huge box of assorted baby care things (cotton wool, breast pads, nipple cream etc!)
• a white rocking chair (this and the last 3 things from my friend Amy, who's baby will be a year old on my due date!)
• We also bought lots of non gender specific vests/sleep suits/clothes etc in various sizes which should be enough to keep us going until we can go out (with the baby!) and buy the rest the clothes that we’ll need

Needless to say I've catalogued everything in sections in my ‘baby notebook’, even down to clothes by size. Now I cant honestly say this organisational streak will continue post partum but its a start, and I now feel SO much happier that we’ve effectively got what we need to be going on with, (Even if we do need to get Sam's friend Theo round to get it all back out of the loft when we need it, because I cant fit through the hole anymore, and Sam never could in the first place!

And before you say it, I know that we haven't got a steriliser yet, but Sam is in charge of the technical things and he’s on the case! What else am I missing?