Nesting, C Section & week 39 update

I have never been the sort of person who keeps a tidy house. My mother had a fridge magnet that declared:

 

and I’ve always remembered it… plus I like to live in a home that feels lived in rather than like a show-home. However for the last couple of weeks I have been obsessed with having a sort/tidy/clean of the whole house! It’s most unlike me but I've actually quite enjoyed it! I’ve tackled more or less every area of our house, and the amount of black bin bags we’ve gone through is pretty high! Sam even joined in and got rid of a load of clothes too (I’ve yet to tackle my shoe collection but however!) But I figured it’s way better to do all this before we move, and before I'm having to take it easy after a C-Section! The bathroom has been cleaned from top to bottom (including all the grouting) as has the kitchen and the whole place has been hoovered thoroughly!

I’ve also stocked the freezer up with dinners (so far 6 main meals, like curries, bolognese etc, and 3 cakes!) so that when neither of us feel like cooking when I'm home from hospital and sleep deprived we can just bung them in the microwave and make rice or something else easy to go with them! None of this is normal behaviour for me, so it is definitely the ‘nesting’ instinct taking over! Most bizarre, and I honestly didn't think it would happen until it did!

If you read my post on choosing a C-section a few weeks ago then the outcome is that it was finally agreed by a consultant. Even if one agrees then another one has to it turns out, but it would be far too convenient for them to do that on the same day, so we managed to get another appointment a week later, which resulted in another week of worry and strain… The consultant that day didn't turn up to work however, but we met with a wonderful doctor who listened (again) to all my concerns, was upset that the NHS counselling service still hadn't given me an appointment (been waiting since march!) and said that he would ‘nip up to the labour ward and find an obstetrician’ for me. Fifteen minutes later (we made awkward small talk with the medical student who sat in on our appointment) he was back, but on his own. I genuinely thought it was an outright no, but it turns out the lady who he spoke to agreed it after looking at my notes and had signed off. He ran me through how the operation works, highlighted the risks (which I could quote back to him verbatim by this point, statistics and all) and we signed the consent form! Obviously at some point after the baby arrives I'll write about my experience, but as you can imagine we were both so relieved and the date is in the diary!

Briefly, the only new symptoms I have experienced since my week 37 update is some extreme acid reflux, some slightly stronger braxton hicks type pains in week 38 and then in the final week, the absolute swelling of my feet, lower legs, arms and hands. I have tattoos on both feet and they look warped at the moment! I look elephantine! I can’t get my wedding rings off and can only wear about 2 pairs of shoes that I own. 

It’s pretty uncomfortable and I’ve been attempting to rest and put my feet up but I also didn't want to waste my last few days of ‘freedom’ sat on my bum, and have various lunch/tea dates with friends which has been lovely! My piddling/sleeping cycle has got worse and I really not getting much sleep at all because my cold means I cant breathe through my nose during the night, so I get a gunky mouth and a bunged up nose, paired with the fact that it’s getting warmer, night times are no fun at the moment! Lets hope the baby sleeps through and I can get some sleep (wishful thinking haha!)

My next post will be post-baby, so see you on the other side!

To C-section or not, that is the question…

 

I want a C section. It is something that I have been thinking about and considering since about 5 months of bumpishness. Surprisingly my mum then suggested it before I had told her I was thinking of it a few weeks later, as it turns out she had a pretty nasty experience with me, and was kept in for for a week post birth with various complications (And a surgery) even though I weighed just under 6lbs. She’s as petite as me and she said if there was an option for me to not have to go through what she did (potentially) she thinks I should take it.

MY other reasons in brief are:

• husband was almost 11’7 at birth, was two weeks overdue and after almost a 2 day labour just wouldn't come out, so was an emergency c section.
• his sister was then a c section 3 weeks early as she was over 9 lbs
• his older brother was born with a brain defect that meant he effectively lived like a 4 month old till he sadly died at 18, and although this is not genetic it still fills me with fear
• I am SO anxious that if I attempt to do it naturally I will end up having to have a C section anyway
• I do not want to go overdue, the baby is already measuring 2 weeks ahead with legs at almost full term. The consultant I saw on Friday reckons ‘7lbs’ at birth but I just do not believe him.

I am still waiting for an appointment with the ‘wellbeing’ clinic to discuss my anxieties, but have been waiting for this for 6 weeks now (good one, NHS) and the consultant basically shot me down and said ‘all first timers are anxious’ but I know most people are not to the extent that I am, and so for that reason I am going to (I think…) call him back on Tuesday to tell him I definitely want a C-section. I know it is my right to ask for one, and I also know that the Brighton hospital was told to get their rates of C sections down, hence his unwillingness to book it in when I saw him.

The few people I have mentioned it to have actually been a lot more supportive than I thought they would be, apart from one person saying ‘oh, well its okay if you don’t feel that maternal yet’ which I took to be a stupid statement and ended the conversation quick sharp. If anything, I personally feel that I will probably have more of a connection with the baby if I haven't gone through potentially 2 days of hard labour to get it out.

I have weighed up the pros and cons, I know it is ‘major surgery’ but people have them every day and survive. I have a network of people to support me afterwards and know that I can cope with the pain, as I've had my appendix out in the past (Admittedly I wasn't carting a baby/pram around right after, but I have a chunky husband to do that for me now!)

What are your thoughts on elective C sections?

Bump update Week 34

[for previous bump updates click here]

34 weeks and a couple of days

So here’s an update of symptoms/happenings etc… (with some holiday snaps flung in just because I can!)

Itchiness & Skin: Still no stretch marks as yet, but more itchiness like I got back in the first trimester on my hands and feet mainly, which is very odd, but the cream I was prescribed back then has helped! Where I had my belly button pierced twice, and a small scar from when I had my appendix out have been a bit sore where the skin is stretching ever tighter over the bump, but not painful really, just enough to notice (I took both belly rings out when I knew I was pregnant, Sam hated them anyway and I didn't want them to pop out or anything gross!) I’ve been lathering on various creams and things on an almost daily basis, not forgetting my back/thighs/bum too!

Headaches: I’ve had a couple, after not having any for a good few months, but nothing a good sleep and a couple of paracetomol didn't fix, apart from one that needed co-codamol and a darkened room to get rid of, but I'd driven for about 4 hours and then endured 2 small boys screaming when we went to see Sam's cousins.

Sleeping/Energy Levels – Still not brilliant, but I have started taking Feroglobin liquid x3 a day which is meant to help your iron levels, and have been eating lots of green veggies when I can. I think carting around a huge belly would take its toll on my energy levels whether I’m anaemic or not, plus the fact that I have been hurtling around Cornwall visiting castles on hills/islands/caves etc hasn't helped much! I still appreciate a good nap when I can get one of course! As for sleeping I am having broken nights sleep (piddling) and also still getting pretty bad nightmares a lot of the the time but am napping when I can!

[gratuitous holiday snap of St Michaels Mount, which was all cobbled slopes, not ideal but pretty!]

Position: Baby is head down and facing towards my back, or so MW says, all good with me, hope it stays there till it has to come out!

Peeing – My Midwife says my constant urge to pee is because sprogs head is pressing on my bladder, and I agree with her completely. Literally I can pee immediately after leaving the toilet having done a pee… Its really irritating and my 3 trips a night to the toilet are killing me. There was ONE glorious night a couple of weeks ago where I didn't go during the night, but it was a one off apparently (and no, I didn't pee in the bed!) Often when the sprog stretches (i.e. it’s little rump sticks upwards and it’s head presses downwards at the same time) I am thankful I started doing kegel exercises a few weeks back as there have been a few near misses!

Acid reflux/heartburn – Much worse in the last 4 weeks, I’m attempting to eat smaller portions and not as close to bed time, and sleeping with more pillows so I am raised a but higher in bed seems to help a little.

Back/Hip Pain – Not horrific, although a little old lady came up to me in Asda the other day to specifically tell me ‘you never forget the feel of back pain in pregnancy you know’ THANKS LADY. In all honesty it isn’t that bad, I think I have fairly good posture anyway from all the dancing I did, which hopefully has helped. I get achy when I wake up, but after I've been up for a little bit it fades. Hot baths help at the end of a long day to. I did overdo the walking in holiday and got achier than normal but that’s my own fault really! I’m not wearing any kind of bump support or anything either…

Cramps / Braxton Hicks – Still getting bloody painful leg cramps, and have had a few Braxton Hicks fake contraction things, which are not pleasant and quite alarming at first (although husband once called them ‘branston hocks’, which was amusing) but they’re not painful, just surprising.

Movement – Still squirming at pretty much every waking moment, sticking its bum up under my ribs when I am driving and generally making most positions uncomfortable in the evenings when I am trying to sit still and it is having a whale of a time wriggling. The last week has been particularly difficult as bump has grown, as it is so hard to get comfortable sitting/lounging/in bed, and I can only see this getting worse until the bump becomes a baby!

Size – My last midwife appointment (at 33 weeks) was the first time the bump measured more than the number of weeks I am, and even then by only a cm, so it’s still not ‘big’, which is a good thing in my mind! I have an appointment with a obstetrician this week and I am hoping he/she offers me a growth scan then, so we’ll have a better idea of its size, and the size of the head more importantly! Needless to say bending down is nigh on impossible and rolling out of bed sometimes requires a push from Sam! I am also lots and lots slower, and run out of breath quicker than a 90 year old with a 60 a day smoking habit.

And as for my size, in the last couple of weeks I have felt distinctly frumpy and flabby. My midwife said she definitely didn't think I had anything to worry about weight-gain wise, and I haven't weighed myself for a few weeks so not sure if I’ve put that much more on, but I think my thighs and upper arms are bigger than they were, but to be frank I like food, and have spent the last week devouring cream teas and various other unhealthy things whilst on holiday so ce la vie! Oh, and my boobs STILL haven't gone up by more than a cupsize and have put on exactly 2 stone since I got impregnanted!

Cravings – none. SO annoying, I wanted to crave something awesome and hard for Sam to get hold of when I got demanding, but no such luck!

Swelling – none, apart from ankles slightly at the end of very long days!

Mood – Still anxious about many things, and with a lower tolerance level then ever before (it was pretty low to begin with!) but no tears!

Maternity Leave – remember I talked in this post about not knowing who I was going to be handing my huge and complex hotel over to whilst I am on mat leave? well I know now and am happy with who it is, so have finally made the decision as to when I will stop work, which in my 39th week. However if I do have to stop before I know that I won’t be leaving anyone in the crap so to speak! I am also lucky in the sense that I can work to my own schedule and cut days shorter if needs be. Work is also only a 10 minute waddle from home and 5 minutes in a cab to the hospital should anything drastic happen…

Things I need to do: Pack a hospital bag! dun dun dunnnnnnnn!

I’ve also been to 2 out of 3 ante-natal classes that are run by the local NHS, the first one was about the stages of labour, and breathing etc, which I didn't find that helpful as I've been reading all sorts of books etc but Sam did, he he claims he’ll know what to expect now, so that’s a bonus! We also did an exercise where the mums and dads had to split into two groups and write down what we thought the qualities of a good birthing partner would be, and actually the 2 lists weren't that different! Basically we had “do everything I ask you to and don't get upset when I shout at you” and theirs was “do everything she says!” There was a creepy looking baby in a fabric womb though, along with a knitted boob (which acted as a bladder!)

Class 2 was about ‘when things don’t go to plan’ and I went to this on my own as Sam couldn't get out of work. It covered pain relief including epidurals/forceps/other types of deliveries and C-sections, and I must say was pretty helpful as the Midwife went through everything in detail and answered all our questions thoroughly. The next class is about breast feeding and the first few days at home, and we have to bring a dolly/teddy to practise with, which will be difficult as I own neither!

Another sweet and reassuring phenomenon is that we’ve spent the week with some close friends and their 10 month old on holiday, and Sam has taken a huge interest in how things work, including feeding times/methods (he fed her himself a few times with great glee!) and ‘nipple’ size (he meant teats on bottles but we’ll let him off!)

That’s about it for now, I've just got back home from our week away, so am desperate for a long hot bath and my own bed but it’s okay… only 3 weeks left until mat leave!

 

[underground caves and steps at Tintagel Castle!]

Strange things people have said to me in pregnancy

A collection of things people have said to me that have made my eyebrows either raise quizically, or almost meet in anger... feel free to add your own annoyance from people in the comments!

• "Which School will you send it to?" HELLO PEOPLE it is currently no bigger than a sweet potato or other medium sized vegetable. In 5 years time I do not even know where I will be living, let alone where I might send it to learn. I answered 'I'm going to home school it of course' which shut them up long enough for me to make my escape
• "I bet people rub your belly ALL the time right?" At week 17ish with a bump that could just be over indulgence (and some of it probably was if I am honest, it was Christmas after all...) NO actually, you were the first person to do that and if I wasn't quite close to you I would have thumped you in the nose. (since then one more person has asked and was shot down rather quickly, but way more people have just reached out and touched it!)
• "Are you sure it isn't twins" yes I am, there was quite clearly only one sprog on that first scan, and actually you inferring that I am fat. I have lost count of the amount of people who have asked this, the last time was the gas man at work, so I retorted with "no, are you?" (he had a HUGE beer belly)
• "When are you going to have the next one" this was met with a harsh glare that my grandmother would have been proud of. 
• "Did you MEAN to get pregnant before you got married"/"was it planned"/"how long did it take you to conceive"/"bet you were pissed off you were pregnant and couldn't drink at your own wedding/honeymoon, haha"  all from people who really are not close enough to me to have the right to ask these questions...(is anyone close enough to ask this kind of thing!?) and NO I wasn't pissed off I couldn't drink, if you were actually a close friend you know I barely drink anyway.
• "I wonder how long you will be in labour for... my mum/sister/second cousin thrice removed was in labour for 2/4/19" days etc The first of these questions/useless statements was asked of me at 13 weeks pregnant, when I had barely even thought about it actually coming out of me. 
• "Your body will never be the same again" (with a certain smirk I'm sure) 
• "Your husband is HUGE, the baby is going to be a whopper/do some damage on the way out" thanks for that lovely input. I am already having nightmares about giving birth to something the size of a Christmas Turkey to feed a family of 10, I don't need your input. Plus I was a normal sized baby so there is hope yet!
• "so, like, errrr are you drinking more milk so you can feed the baby?" This is from a guy who is MY AGE, ie 29. I just gawped at him, I thought he was joking but he wasn't, he's just THAT thick.
• "I mean, I'm just not sure if I'll ever have kids, they're just so permanent, you're stuck with them forever, they'll ALWAYS rely on you, for everything" Yep, thanks for that observation, friend.

Life in Limbo

[.]

I like to have things planned to a T. A huge big fat CAPITAL T. When things are not planned and/or I have no control over them I get anxious, and often angry. My life seems to be in Limbo right now, for a various number of reasons, the main being the obvious one of the imminent arrival of baby KPB (don't worry, I'm not going to give it a triple barrelled surname, I wouldn't be so cruel!) and then the smaller but still important issues of where are we going to live, same place, different, next town over? Will I go back to work? more importantly when will I stop work to start maternity leave? How will we cope with Sam not having a bog standard working pattern? Will I get lonely once our house mate moves out/we move out, with Sam working late at night? How will we afford to pay for things without my Salary?

I figured the best way to tackle these things is to get my thoughts down on paper (blog-paper?) and then see how other people coped/plan to cope, and I have been speaking to my GP about how best to tackle anxiety (more on this at a later date, potentially but there is a bit more to it) and I know one of the best ways is to discuss my thoughts with people, but as I don't have a particularly deep relationship with the mothership (I think this is because I don't like to worry her) and my husband is like an excited puppy and always has a positive spin on everything (which normally is ideal, as he is the positive to my negative, but sometimes I do NEED someone to be blatant with me and point out things that might crop up in a negative/constructive aspect, and not just say "it'll be fine, wait and see") SO here goes...

Where will we live? Long story short there is a slight possibility that a friend will let us his 2 bed flat at the cost of his mortgage (plus bills, but still about 400 less than the going market rate) BUT only if the current tenants want to leave at the end of their 12 month tenancy, which is through a letting agent. (keeping them would give him more income, but if they left he'd rather have someone he knows in the flat) This flat is in Worthing (half an hour drive away) but right next to the train station for easy travel/Sam to get to and from work and also has a car parking space with it,so I could get my car back on the road. It has 2 beds/2 baths and is about 3 years old, plus we have 2 close friends who happen to live in the same road. It is also closer than where we are now to my mums house, and other friends. So we have to wait a few more weeks to see if that will work out. If it does it is too good to turn down. If it doesn't then we would more than likely stay where we are, (a 2 bed maisonette in central Brighton) but would need to cover the whole rent, as opposed to the half we pay now (our lovely housemate will be moving out) and of course we would be paying around an extra £100 a month in bills too, which was her share. All this with me earning SMP and not my salary. We contemplated moving somewhere cheaper, but actually our rent is cheap compared to other similar places, so to move somewhere noticeably cheaper we'd have to move right to the outskirts of Brighton, making it more difficult for Sam to get to and from work (currently a ten minute walk for both he and I).

conclusion: there isn't one yet!

Will I go back to work? When will I stop work? without bemoaning my company/area manager too much I will say that considering I told him I was expecting at 9 weeks pregnant (to get them off my back about a potential move to maidstone!) and at the time of writing I have 8 weeks left till me EDD and no decision has been made I'm pretty pissed off! I know who I want to cover for me, (I manage a large hotel for anyone that didn't know) as I have spent a lot of time with him over the last few years and know that he would do everything efficiently and properly and already works in the hotel so he knows all the intricacies and ins and outs, whereas if the decision is made that it will be someone external the handover period will take potentially 2 or 3 weeks, bearing in mind I have the last week of April off and ideally don't want to work till the baby actually falls out leaves not very long at all. Another gripe is that we were told he would make a decision on the 1st April, but then realised the day before good Friday that he was on holiday all that week and "do you mind covering for me Lauren" so not only an increased work load during the Easter holidays (already the busiest time of the year so far) but who forgets they are going on holiday?!!!! OH and a third gripe, my last regional manager told me I should get a say in the cover as it is 'your hotel' but he's since moved regions and my area manager seems more intent on being seen to make the right decision than actually making it! does he not realise this is stressing me out big style?! (I have told him how I feel, by the way, I'm pretty vociferous but he clearly has no back bone and doesn't want to rock the boat with the 'higher uppers' because he's new to the position!) GRRRR

As for if I will go back, I genuinely don't know. I would love not to, and have a bit of a career break, but actually my main worry is not money but boredom. I've worked solidly full time for the same company and I'm not sure how I'd cope going from high stress levels and being busy and active 5 days a week (or more!) to basically sitting on my bum watching my child grow up. I've contemplated doing a foundation degree type thing through the open university (which is pretty cheap if you are a low income family, which we would be if just Sam was working) and re training to do something that I could do to my own schedule, but I'm just not sure what. Then if we have another child later down the line, I would effectively be putting my career on hold even longer, if we waited for the (hypothetical) 2nd child to reach school age... Also I earn more money than Sam, so it would make more financial sense for me to go back and for him to leave, but I think maybe I'm ready for something different!

conclusion: who knows?

Shift patterns and family routine. Fairly often Sam works 5 nights a week. And by nights I mean 3pm - 3/4am. He often has different and separate days off in a week and, and doesn't generally know what these will be till only a few days before (thanks Sam's bosses, you make planning really easy) At first I was dreading the long evenings alone (as lovely flatmate will have moved out by then, or we will have!) from 3 till god knows when, but then when I thought about it a bit more, once baby KPB is sleeping more to a routine and is going to bed around 7pm, SO CAN I!!) I wont need to feel obliged to do married people things like cook him dinner and watch a film together, I can just have a nice relaxing bath (positive thinking!) read a bit of my book and then be asleep by 9pm with no distractions or guilt at not spending time with my husband, ready for the inevitable middle of the night feeds. Sam has even said that if it works out that the baby will need a feed within an hour of him getting home, he can do it!

Then providing he wakes up at a reasonable time (normally 10/11am after a late night shift) hopefully the baby will have had a morning nap and we can have nice family time/lunch together whilst the sprog is awake (and yay for eating a bigger meal at lunch time, more time to burn off the calories!) then I can walk into town with Sam to get out of the house on his way to work.

conclusion: this one could benefit everyone!

So, a potential positive one out of three. Brilliant, no wonder I'm stressed.

How did you cope with things that you couldn't control, either when pregnant or in other phases of life?

Pregnancy update week 30

 

I’m a week and a bit late with this update if I'm going by my every 4 weeks rule, but seeing as I set the rule I figure I can break it… Wednesday marks the start of the 31st week of being up le duff, or 30 weeks and zilch days if we go by the midwife countdown…

here’s the low down…

Sleeping/Energy Levels – My last blood tests revealed I have low iron levels, which explains the on-going tiredness, though the last trimester is more tiring than the middle one anyway which makes sense. I wanted to avoid having to take iron tablets on prescription as they play merry havoc with IBS from previous experience (both me and my mum regularly go through anaemic phases so I’ve had them in the past and they do strange things to your bowels/droppings!) instead I am eating lots of green veg and red meat.

Peeing – still piddling a lot, and managing to expel about 5x more liquid that I ingest. How is that even possible? I have also (TMI coming up…) had to start wearing party-liners daily as a couple of severe sneezes/coughing fits have resulted in slight leakage (I was mortified but apparently it happens to almost everyone and if they say it didn't they're lying!)

Acid reflux/heartburn – on and off, sometimes I will have eaten nothing for hours, and wake up with it really badly and need to find some rennies STAT in an attempt to clear it up!

Back/Hip Pain – In all honesty I would have to say that the pain hasn't got worse, although it may just be that I am learning to live with it! My fancy new ergonomic high backed desk chair at work has helped, plus the fact that I have attempting to walk for at least half an hour a day.

Stretch Marks/Skin- still no stretch marks, still lathering on various creams and potions when I remember, and no linea nigra yet either. Belly button has NOT stuck out at any point… though maybe this is because it’s dead from having two different piercings (I took them out when I got pregnant) and a scar from my appendectomy in it. But I'm pleased because it freaks me out when they poke out. Facially my hormonal spots have pretty much cleared up too!

Headaches – hardly any since the last update, I've only had to take tablets for it once.

Cramps – more ‘restless leg syndrome’ than ever, coupled with 3 bouts this week of excruciating pain in my left calve. Picture this, you’re happily asleep, then suddenly your calve muscle tenses up in a MAJOR way and you wake up wanting to scream but you can’t because your husband only got into bed and fell asleep after a 16 hour shift an hour ago and it would be mean. You then lie there for 15 minutes trying to clench and un clench your toes in a vain attempt for the muscle to contract and go back to normal. THEN you have trouble putting all your weight on your leg when you need to go to the toilet and promptly fall over when you get out of bed, and wake the husband up. OH, and I've also had some very bizarre crotch-area cramps this week, like shooting pains in the vag, not pleasant!

Movement – almost had a dangerous spillage when sprog did a major kick/flip knocking a bottle of nail varnish off the bump, but luckily the lid was still semi screwed on, phew! Sprog loves to wiggle about in the bath too.

Size – I have put on just under 2 stone, and the midwife says this is absolutely nothing to worry about, as the ‘average’ (ie if you were of a normal BMI when you got pregnant) person should put on around 2.5 stone overall. I think my legs are a bit chunkier, but people have said that facially I don’t look any bigger, which is a bonus, to be honest I'm not watching what I eat at all, so I'm surprised I am not looking like a beached whale.

Hair/Skin – hair is growing at rapunzel type speed, which is good. It also seems a lot shinier than normal, which is awesome. In other hair related news, I have purchased a ladyshave type device as I can no longer see my hoo-hoo, and shaving with a regular razor in the shower was getting dangerous. I figure this will be easier to use when I attempt to ‘neaten’ certain bits in preparation for the hospital (and then a lot quicker and less dangerous when I am attempting to shower between naps post birth!)

Cravings – nothing! dull eh. I am eating a lot of sweet things though.

Swelling – nothing yet, shoes still fit, ankles still look like they did before, wedding ring still fit too.

Mood – No major mood  swings (lucky for Sam eh!) but a number of various anxieties that I am not going to share here, perhaps at a later date but for now I'm seeing my MW with more regularity than normal, and saw my GP this week about it too.

No other symptoms that I can think of, and with ten and a half weeks to go till D-day I’m hoping that nothing gets too bad! We’ve got a week away planned at the end of April with friends in Cornwall, and as long as I can drive there and back okay I don’t really mind if I'm too round to do anything as we’ve hired a gorgeous barn conversion and I'll happily spend the week reading/dozing/chatting with friends. I still haven't made a decision on when to stop working, mainly because I don’t know who is covering for me when I'm on mat leave, (if it was up to me I would’ve made the decision weeks ago, but alas it is not within my control and is causing me grief, as handing over a hotel isn't a quick task, and if it’s not the person I want it to be its a 2 week job, minimum!) 

  

Now everyone tells me I look ‘big’ for my dates, however the midwife measured the bump and it is NORMAL I tell you!!! Snap on the right taken Wednesday before last, at the start of the 29th week (Or 28+0) and I am noticeably bigger already, which is the idea I guess! My coat doesn't fit anymore, so it better get warmer soon! I think people just think I'm big because I'm a midget…

Useful things to make Pregnancy easier

 

Pregnacare (or similar!) combined pills – I am useless  at remembering to take pills and tablets, so have a combined pill that has all the right vitamins and minerals in means only having to remember to take one pill a day, and that I can just about manage. More info on the boots website here

A pregnancy pillow (or a spare normal pillow) – Some nights I toss and turn too much and end up flinging the thing out of bed, but mostly I am exhausted enough to conk out and not move till I need to go for a wee, I posted already about mine here, but you can just sleep with a regular pillow between your legs and under your bump, but it’s a good idea to not sleep on your back when the bump gets bigger, it can trap nerves and make your legs go numb!

Crackers/cereal bars/ginger hobnobs – in the first few months they help to stave off pregnancy, and in the last few months they’ve been perfect to keep at work for a quick snack (I don't take a  lunch break at work, just graze throughout the day) and for early mornings, I'll have a cereal bar on the way to work then have a bowl of cereal/porridge when I get to work (the only bonus of early starts is that I have chefs on hand at the hotel to cook, I’m just fed up of of cooked breakfasts after so many years there!)

A pregnancy app- See this post (& this week according to the app the baby is as big as the head of a cauliflower, in case you were wondering!)

Loose fitting PJs – comfort over style, primarks biggest size work wonderfully, but I have to roll them up because I am short.

Something that smells nice to slather on sore stretched skin – I have been using a multitude of things (don't want to get bored!) but most recently have been loving the Seascape Soothe range (reviewed here)

Rennies/antacid tablets – don’t leave the house without them. keep them by the bed, in your bag, on your desk, in the car, EVERYWHERE! they’re a godsend. The weird thing is that I can go a couple of days without any heartburn/acid reflux, then for a few days EVERYTHING gives it to me!

A food delivery service (or an obliging partner/friend who will do it with you) – Asda delivers my groceries, and I top up at local shops on the way home from work. If Sam and I both had time together to go to the supermarket (i.e. if we didn't work at opposite times to each other) then I would make more of an effort to go, but waddling round the supermarket with a trolley then battling the old ladies on the bus with the bags isn't my idea of fun (although it is good exercise, see next point!)

Regular exercise – I'm not saying run a marathon, but unless your Dr tells you otherwise its a really good idea to keep doing non-strenuous exercise, even if its just walking, but there are lots of yoga videos on YouTube (here are some third trimester ones, as that’s what I am now) but there are local classes in most areas I expect, definitely in Brighton anyway!

A cleaning lady/man – I don’t have one of these, but if money were no object I would get help in an instant. Cleaning bathroom/kitchen floors on my hands and knees is getting difficult and tiring, and I'm only going to get bigger. Plus I only like to clean when I'm in the right mood, and that hardly ever happens!

A comfy bra – I’m still on the lookout for one of these! I purchased some non wired bras from M&S and they were just really unflattering, and still not that comfy. Yesterday a very nice lady in La Senza measured me, but all their bra’s are of the bullet proof padding variety, with underwire. She gave me a ‘body kiss’ to try on which was so padded round the underwire that you could hardly feel it, but I didn't want all the ‘oomph’ so I didn't buy it. She did however make me try a smaller band a bigger cup, which seemed to work slightly better than what I was going for before, so the hunt continues, and in the mean time I bought a maternity bra and a nursing bra from Mothercare in their sale, which are doing for now. Needless to say the moment I shut the door behind me when I get in the bra comes off and the PJs go on.

a smaller handbag – I was carrying around all kinds of crap I didn't need, so I changed to a smaller one (slightly) and make a point of emptying out the stuff I don't need every couple of days, because dragging around all the extra weight wasn’t doing my shoulders any good at all!

Please do feel free to add your couldn't-do-withouts below!

Birth plan, part 1

 

I don't really know where to start with a ‘birth plan’. I spoke to my midwife about it at last weeks appointment, and she said that basically it can be as detailed or as simple as you want it to be, but that of course sometimes things just don’t go to plan, so always keep an open mind. As an aside, I really like this midwife, my first few appointments were all with someone different and one of them was quite possibly the most unhelpful person I've met, after looking at my notes a few weeks ago she had managed to write down my height wrong, and a few other anomalies had crept in too.

Anyway, I digress, I explained to the MW that I didn't really know where to start with thinking about the birth, and in actual fact I had quite a lot of anxiety about it, amongst other things. She said it needs to cover three main areas, which can be as detailed or as simple as you want them to be.

• What is important to you (who do you want with you, where do you want to do it? )
• What you feel are priorities (including pain relief/coping techniques, do you want your baby cleaned before being given to you etc)
• How you want things to happen after the birth (breastfeeding or formula, vitamin K injection or not…)

So I am right at the beginning stages of the process, and so far all I know is that a) Sam will be with me and not my mother/anyone else, BUT that if things go on for a while and he needs a break, but that b) a friend who lives not far from the hospital and had her baby there a few years ago will be on hand for support if possible, which is good to know. In the true spirit of my ever growing procrastination, I actually made a full and detailed list of what to pack in my hospital bag instead of getting any further with the birth plan, but i’ve started thinking about it and have 13 weeks left anyway, so expect another post on the subject further down the line!

Tools and things you may find helpful:

The NHS Birth plan webpage, you can fill out online and print it for your records

The NHS 'how to write a birth plan video’ which you can watch here

The Tell me a good birth story website (Steph found this website really useful before she had D, and recommended it to me)

Bountys advice on writing a birth plan

And the Netmums take on it

and just for the sake of argument, here is an article that I found about why ‘birth plans are worse than useless’ (the 899 comments on the article don’t agree!)

 

If you are a mum already, how closely did your experience resemble your birth plan, if you had one? Any tips?

Pregnancy Update week 24

 

Just as I published my last update (week 20) I got flu. The dreaded nasty flu. The doctor said 'bad luck, the flu jab prevents it in 99% of cases, perhaps you caught a really nasty strain' and told me plenty of bed rest and vitamin C. I was off work for a week and felt like utter crap, achy and snotty and a couple of proper migraines flung in for good measure. And I also felt like I wasted time off work because I didn't get anything done round the house (which on reflection I am aware is completely ridiculous, as even loading the dishwasher required a 30 minute kip afterwards) Anyway once I'd been back to work for a week I was off to Prague for a long weekend with the mothership, but the -15 degree temperatures didn't really help the recovery much, not did the soft, unsprung mattress help my hips much.

So, on with the symptoms/experiences:

Sleeping/Energy Levels - I think they would've been better had it not been for the debilitating flu. At least twice a week after work I have a nap for a couple of hours, and my bed times are getting earlier and earlier! We had a week off this week but as normal we managed to pack so much into it (And I did all the driving) so 800 miles and a lot of caching up with people and buying baby bits hasn't done much for my energy levels and I am currently hibernating today in preparation for returning to work tomorrow! Using the pregnancy pillow for sleeping most nights, although I didn't take it away with me, just used a regular pillow instead.

Peeing - we're now up to 2 trips a night, even if I don't drink anything after 8pm and pee right before I get into bed. The other night I peed, went upstairs to take my make-up off and as I was getting into bed I needed to pee again. SO ANNOYING. Might rent a commode for the duration of the pregnancy. And of course the second piddle comes an hour before my alarm goes off, so I find it hard to go back to sleep as my brain has started ticking away thinking about the day ahead. I have managed to train myself to get to the loo and back in pitch black though to try and stay sleepier with no lights.

Constipation - way better than last month, hurrah! 

Acid reflux/heartburn - more acid reflux than heartburn so far, but I've found that chewing a rennie after food  helps keep it at bay slightly, and chocolate and orange juice make it way worse. Amusingly I was ID'd when I bought the rennies...

Back/Hip Pain - lots. and then some more. Each morning I wake up aching on the hip I slept on (or both if I turned over after a bathroom trip) and this is accompanied by lower back pain, which wears off by about 10am ish, but is made worse by a pretty uncomfortable desk chair at work, so I might start taking a cushion in to sit on. A couple of times I've had excruciating upper back pain (go figure!) and my shoulders constantly click when I rotate them. Perhaps a trip to a chiropractor is in order... Amusingly Sam is now experiencing sporadic back pain with no apparent cause, so perhaps its a sympathy pain!

Stretch Marks/Skin- No stretch marks so far, but I did get a good few hormonal spots on my chin just after I got the flu, which obviously I couldn't resist picking, then ended up with a crater for a week, and I'm still getting spots even now. No 'linea nigra' yet either.

Headaches - a couple but not unbearable, only one where I decided to go home from work a couple of hours early and lie in a darkened room.

Leg/foot aches/cramps - this is the weirdest one so far, it is almost as if my legs are recovering from pins and needles, and you have to jiggle whichever (or both) legs to attempt to get them to stop aching. This is a little annoying when it happens at 11.30 at night on a dark road in 2 inches of snow, like last week.

Movement - the sprog is going CRAZY, it's so bizarre, and when I relax for the night is when it really gets going... lots of what feels like 'popping'. 2 weeks ago Sam felt it through my belly for the first time, which was a nice moment.

Size - I am ballooning. the bump is both high and low (impressively) and starts right under my boobs (which have only grown half a cup size) but the expanding rib cage has meant that I have gone up to a... wait for it FORTY band! I was previously a 34/36 depending on the shop. I bought 3 new bras in La Senza that are a 38 but they're too tight (but perhaps they'll stretch a bit with wear, and don't worry they were all reduced to £2.50!) but I've been wearing them with bra strap extenders and this is bearable for now, just! However nothing else seems to have got fatter, apart from my hips, which is obviously my pelvis widening ready for birth rather than just eating too much! maybe...

Hair/Skin - not falling out as much as it was during washing etc, but still is to some extent. Also more grey hairs! Oh and my nails are not strong either, I had my acrylics removed so need to wait a few weeks really to see what their real condition is. And apart from the hormonal spots no weird marks/new freckles either, thank goodness!

That's about it for now, but here are some bump progress snaps!

 

Stuff we like: Pregnancy Apps

 

Now I never bother paying for apps, I'd rather make do with the ads/slightly less content on a free app that bother coughing up for however much it costs. Also I get bored of things very easily and end up with a phone full of crap I never look at. However, I do like to keep my apps grouped by type, and have been using the 'health' section a lot recently.

The only reason I could give the midwife an accurate (ish) date of conception was due to the period tracker lite app. It lets you note when your period starts and ends, therefore tells you when it is due, and you can keep track of symptoms, and when you 'make love' (for want of a better term!) You can also save the data or have it emailed to you, so if you change phone you have a back record (my previous years of poor diary keeping meant I genuinely had no idea when I was due on, because I had such irregular periods anyway)

Once I knew I had a bun in the oven I downloaded a couple more apps, some of which I have since deleted, but the ones I use the most are:-

'What to Expect Pregnancy' (from the same people who published the book (and subsequent spin off Hollywood blockbuster... hmmmm) my version has ads as it's the free version. You enter in your EDD (estimated due date) and when you open the app you get the screen that tells you how far you are, what size the sprog is and a countdown. Along the bottom you have the weekly and daily sections, with the weekly giving you an overview of what's happening inside overall, and each day giving you tips (varying from food, exercise, symptoms, and once a week or so a tip for the dad (my fave basically being 'ask if she wants to have sex don't assume')

It also has a pictures section, where you can store a picture for each week, but I've not bothered with that as Sam takes one every two weeks for himself (which I share on instagram and here anyway). There is also a forum, based on your expected birth month (access to other forums is possible too) and I've not really bothered with this either.

Sprout app - Very similar to the above, but gives you a creepy 3d sort of image of your unborn child, with bits to click to find out more. The next section 'doc says' also gives a weekly and daily breakdown of information, but if a certain topic interests you you can click it to add it to the 'ask your doctor' list, which appears in the organiser tab, which lists things by section (ask the doc, a to do list, a list of new-born essentials and what to pack in your hospital bag) Obviously I am too much of a list-addict to pass up on writing my own lists, and as previously mentioned I have a whole sectioned notebook for preparing for this child, BUT if you are not manual-to-do-list inclined then its a useful feature for shizzle!

The last section 'tools' has a weight tracker, so you can monitor your weight gain, a kick counter and a contraction timer (most of which are the 'paid for' features in other pregnancy apps)

Womancy - more similar to the period tracker app, it shows you a calendar and lets you put your current symptoms in, along with the option of your weight and waist size, which you can then view on a graph. However I weight myself in stones and pounds, and the idea of converting it first is too much effort so I've not bothered so far, but for a free app if you did want to keep track of these then its a decent option.

The other often used app in my health section is 'white noise' (I have two, each app has slightly different sounds) and although these days I am so tired I can fall asleep anywhere generally, pre pregnancy I used to get a few sleepless nights, particularly when I was really stressed. Basically the app plays a background noise that lulls you (hopefully) to sleep, but I have friends who say that these apps can work well with young babies too (and are a cheaper, if somewhat far more inconvenient (if you actually need to USE your phone) option that Ewan the dream sheep, for example)

Lets talk about sex…as in gender

[.]

So we went for our 20ish week scan (a bit later than 20 weeks, but never mind) and all is well with the sprog, it has the right bits in the right places and it was all doing what it should be. HOWEVER the little bugger had its legs crossed at the knees so we still have no idea if it’s a girl or a boy! Now the decision to find out has been taken out of my hands, I’m kind of okay with it. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to know, but I guess this is the only TRUE surprise in life now! As soon as we were on the bus back from the hospital Sam started googling old wives tales, and most of my friends have given me their predictions too! I thought I'd do a bit of ‘research’ then when the baby pops out I can look back and see what was right and what was wrong!

carrying high = girl. carrying far forwards = boy

heart rate over 140 bpm = girl, under = boy (ours was exactly 140 when we heard it on Thursday, helpful!)

craving sweet things = girl, craving savoury or sour = boy

a girl ‘steals her mothers beauty’. so spots/blemishes = girl

swollen legs/feet = boy, no/little swelling = girl

clumsier in pregnancy = boy, grounded and not dropping things = girl

larger right breast = boy, larger left breast = girl (what if they’re the same!?)

bright yellow wee = boy, dull wee = girl

 

and this Chinese gender calendar could be completely accurate, but its too confusing to bother with right now!

Any more to add to the list? & if you’ve had a baby were any of these correct?!

Stuff we like: Summer Infant body pillow

About 5 weeks ago (week 16 ish) sleeping became a bit more of a problem for me, with lower back pain, and more annoyingly hip pain on whichever side I slept on (which for me is normally the right side, as I like to sleep facing outwards, not towards the sleeping chunk of man that is my Humongous husband)

I knew that pregnancy pillows existed purely because there is a film/tv program embedded deep in my memory where the husband is annoyed that the woman gets so attached to this pillow and sleeps hugging it every night, even after the baby comes. Anyway, I knew I wanted one so did a bit of research into them and ordered one from Argos (its an 'extra' product, but will be delivered free, or you can collect from your local store)

Basically the idea is that the pillow supports your bump/back/legs whilst sleeping. You can see a little more info about sleeping during pregnancy on the NHS website here and on the Bounty website here.

I ordered the ‘Summer Infant Body Support Pillow’ and it cost me £34.99. I chose it because it has three different uses and I thought I'd get my moneys worth! The main use is obviously as a pregnancy pillow, but also zipped together as a baby chair/support and also as a breast feeding aide.

 

(both images from SI website)

It comes with a removable cotton cover which can be washed, and a zip on/off centre section (slightly padded) which is where the baby would be placed when you use it as a seat.
The 'bump' support is more curved, and the ends tuck back round under your neck/legs to support the back, which hopefully you can see in my artfully posed picture!

  

With then without the removable support bit, and zipped together to form a ‘chair’ (With a small sized water bottle as a make shift baby)

 

Pros:

• supports the back as well as the bump, and I imagine when the bump is bigger it will stop you from rolling onto your back in your sleep, if this were to happen. (I imagine it might!?)
• fairly firm support, so a second pillow probably isn't necessary (when used in the position above)
• you can remove the cover to clean, and could make a more aesthetically pleasing cover without too much hassle, if sewing is your thing
• can be used for sleeping on either side of the body.
• It can be used as a lower back support whilst sitting up in bed (and you can balance a plate of toast on the bit that goes over your legs! It was a godsend when bedridden for a week with flu last week!)

Cons:

• Difficult to untangle yourself when you are half asleep and on a nocturnal visit to the toilet. Once or twice I have sleepily tried to get back in it after a piddle and flung it on the floor in annoyance.
• fairly firm support, some people might find it a bit TOO firm, personally for me it works, but I've read a few review sites where this has been mentioned.
• takes up a fair amount of space (the pictures above are of 5’2 me on a king size bed, for comparison)

Overall: I really like it, and think as I get bigger it will become more invaluable, and hopefully I'll get good use out of it when the sprog comes too.

Lists lists and more lists

I like to write lists. Lists make me feel organised, and like I have something to achieve (although sometimes I write something on a list that I have already done, and then cross it off so I feel like I have made progress)

The below are a few of my current lists, which are either in my phone or in the back of my organiser, along with a select few items from said lists... I have purchased a notebook with sections in it, to attempt to get properly organised, with lists of what people have very kindly offered to lend us (thanks Steph!) and things that people have said don't bother with, and even the 'hospital bag' list... (Which currently only says 'camera and big knickers' on it...but i've got plenty of time for that one yet!

The things I can do when the baby gets here and I wont be working list

• watch Sabrina the teenage witch from start to finish
• read all the unread books on my shelves (I know this is unrealistic)
• start making all my own Christmas/birthday cards again
• craft projects 

The Baby Names List 

• SECRET! we're just not telling... (Well Sam can't keep his trap shut but I am not telling, so you'll have to bribe him!) He has chosen the 'girl' name, therefore I get to choose the 'boy' name. & the middle names be default, because I am carrying it around for 40 weeks after all, but obviously the names will be subject to what the baby looks like when it appears, the thing is, what if you decide to call it Maud and it comes out looking just like a Marjory...? Plus i've heard stories of people either turning their nose up at whatever you say it's name will be, or stealing the name!

The Baby Shopping List

• everything. (well, almost, we will have a crib from Steph, and my mum already found us a nice moses basket and stand, and another friend is giving us her daughters cot-bed when as she's almost grown out of it, at 5 years old! (so hurray, no bed buying till then!)

The other things that might be useful to get hold of list

• a food processor
• an ottoman (for keeping blankets and such in...plus I just want one)
• a rocking chair
• lots of tupperware containers so I can cook most of the weeks food on one day and freeze it (this will never happen and we will live off takeaway fish and battered sausages for at least a month!)

The things I am worried about list

• how will I know what it wants when it cries (shouldn't be calling it it really...)
• what if it is funny looking, and people are too polite to say anything (I KNOW how this makes me sound)
• that I will go stir crazy with only myself and a small human for company
• how on earth am I going to have my every other daily long hot soak in the tub with bubbles and a book (lets face it, i'm not)
• taking the baby to a wedding at ten weeks old
• our finances

The what I definitely do not want to do when bringing up my child list

• Let it use a dummy till it is three. I have a friend who did this, and one day she had to tell her daughter that she had to give it to another baby who needed it more, there were tantrums and there were tears
• Let it watch CBeebies incessantly
• Let it wander around with snot hanging from its nose
• Dress it it anything with 'babe' written on it (i'm looking at YOU primark)

I know that many of these are unrealistic, and some are downright daft, but this is a place for honesty, so do share any lists you made, or worries you had/have pre baby!

Pregnancy update Week 20

So I am either 19 or 20 weeks now, depending on which pregnancy app I look at.  As I said before in my 16 week update, the whole weeks and days things confuses me, and normally I class myself as someone with a decent amount of intelligence, or at least common sense! But anyway  I think days 0-7 of being pregnant are week 1, although I am now 19 weeks and 3 days, I'm actually in week 20. I think?

[week 18, or maybe actually its 19]

Anyway, I plan to do an update every 4 weeks from now on, so here you go...

Sleeping - I am not as tired as I was for the first 16 or so weeks, which is a relief. I am struggling to find a comfy sleeping position, but find that a liberal sprinkling of lavender oil on my pillow/duvet helps, as well as listening to BBC World service which is possibly the most boring thing in existence post midnight. In the last few days I have been more tired, but I think that is due to having a nasty cold which has taken it out of me somewhat.

Peeing - this still happens lots and lots, then some more. Although sometimes I go and nothing happens, and then 5 minutes later I'm desperate and Niagara falls happens. A tip for you to help empty the bladder completely is to lean forwards when you think you're done to help every last drop come out. Needless to say it's still affecting my sleep and I get up to pee at least once a night. Annoyingly my bathroom is downstairs and at the other end of the house, I have mastered getting there and back in the dark so as not to wake myself up too much with switching lights on!

Constipation - Still happening on a semi regular basis. However I find that by drinking LOTS of water (which doesn't help with the peeing) and trying to eat as much healthy veg and protein as I can, and am (as normal) keeping my dairy intake low, but IBS still roars its ugly head at times.

Headaches - I have had a bout of bad ones. Ones that don't go away with a 4 hour sleep. Eventually I gave in and looked up co-codamol in pregnancy, found that many expectant mothers had been prescribed it for various things by their GPs and took one. Headache went in half an hour. As I suffer from bad headaches and the occasional migraine (less now than when I was younger) I expect this will get worse as I get more pregnant, unfortunately.

Backaches - Randomly this week my normal lower backache when I wake up has been joined by upper back pain, which is strange. Its not like my upper back is taking the strain of bigger boobs (Still pissed off they've not got any bigger!) so not sure what's causing this apart from maybe a different sleeping position, although a couple of times it's happened at bedtime, so it can't be that! Anyway, the arrival of my new pregnancy pillow will hopefully help (& I will review it too!)

Heartburn - Slight but nothing too bad. If I eat crisps (which is rare) it's worse, so I know what NOT to eat.

Breathlessness - climbing stairs wears me out, I can only imagine how i'll feel when I get humongous.

Body temperature - It's January and I am sleeping with the window open, the radiator in the bedroom off and in a T shirt and pants only. My nice fluffy new sale bargain dressing gown is firmly hung on the back of the door, and I am not wearing socks or slippers around the house.

'Flutterings' aka the baby moving - I *think* this happened for the first time a couple of days ago, it was like a popping, but it wasn't wind (and I am familiar with wind, due to IBS) but I've not felt it again yet.

Reality vs Myth (pregnancy)

Here are a few things that either I believed would happen from popular culture (episodes of Trash TV and the Daily Mail gossip pages mainly, don't judge me) or things that people have told me...

Your boobs will grow, possible even before you know you're pregnant (this was from a friend, and then a pregnancy book told me I will need to be re measured every 8-10 weeks ish to 'accommodate' the growth)
Reality for me: Nothing. Nada, I will just about fill a B cup. This is one the few things I was actually looking forward to, having actual boobs! but no. Week 18 arrived and I am in the same pre-bump bras.

If your mothers ankles didn't swell yours wont (this came from husbands mother)
Reality: not so far, but I highly doubt that history will repeat itself in any shape or form here, as she didn't even  realise she was pregnant with me till she almost lost me, then was told to drink a can of Guinness a day to help anaemia. She also smoked, maybe that's the secret to non swelling ankles. 3 people I have asked had all said they swelled to gargantuan sizes, and one even had a bone in her foot BREAK because of it. Crutches and a 7 month bump, poor her.

Take it easy and rest up (various people)
Reality: Actually it has been proven that exercising during pregnancy can help to have a  less stressful birth (although obviously if you have been told by a DOCTOR to rest, then do!) and it can also help post-partum recovery, as well as to combat stress and help you sleep better (As if you have any problem sleeping in the first trimester anyway!)  Personally I walk a lot anyway, plus have a fairly active job, and have been swimming when I can and was kindly given some pregnancy yoga classes for Christmas. I really enjoyed yoga but stopped about a year ago when I gave up my gym membership, but it always was an excellent way to de stress and stretch.

"OH MY GOD YOU JUST ATE A PEANUT!!" accompanied by a look akin to that of watching me skin a puppy, followed up with, "the kids going to be allergic now"
Reality: It's complete tosh. Unless of course I was allergic to peanuts, but then eating them would make me a complete twonk.

Use cocoa butter/oil/something so you never get stretch marks.
Reality: If you are going to get them you are going to get them, sad fact of life. However applying copious amounts of moisture will help to keep the skin supple and help the skin heal if you do get stretch marks, in turn helping the appearance look less severe.

You can eat for two now, lucky you!
Reality: I wish. Admittedly some days I am eating more than I should, but if you cant get fat when you're baking a baby when can you? You actually only need around 300 extra calories a day, if you were a healthy bmi when you got impregnated.

If you get heartburn you'll give birth to a baby with a full head of hair. 
REALLY strange woman I encountered at work, really?! just no.

Oh, you FLEW whilst pregnant?
Yes, I did it at 12 weeks and I am about to do it again at 21 weeks. Unless you have been told not to, then it's fine up until the last few weeks, because who wants to have a baby born on a plane? (It doesn't give the kid free flights forever/an automatic passport to where they are headed... I know this because a friend who works for Virgin often had ladies from Africa go into labour on a flight to England  accompanied with a Drs note saying they were only 21 weeks when they were quite clearly full term) However if you DO fly, get up and walk about a bit every hour, and attempt to book a seat near the loo.

Any other ridiculous myths people have mentioned/judged you for?

Scrimping and Saving

When we discovered a sprog was imminent  we were over-joyed. Then shortly after that we entered panic mode for me it was how the hell am I going to give birth to an actual baby, and for Sam it was how the hell are we going to manage financially? which, once aired, became joint top concern for me.

Obviously I'm not going to go into our personal finances in detail, but we both have full time jobs, and together earn just over the benchmark that means you're entitled to pretty much zilch from the government. I get a very minimally enhanced maternity over the national allowance from my company. The below is taken from the government website

Statutory Maternity Pay is paid for up to 39 weeks, usually as follows:

• the first 6 weeks - 90% of your average weekly earnings (AWE) before tax
• the next 33 weeks - £135.45 or 90% of your AWE (whichever is lower)

You can’t get less than the statutory amount but you can get more if your company has a maternity scheme.

So basically my income will be dramatically less than it normally is, and if I want to stay off work longer than 39 weeks then I get zilch per week. Hurrah.

So the first thing we decided to do was start saving money immediately! Now this wasn't that hard to get used to, as we were about to get married (which we funded ourselves) and had been on a strict spending ban since setting a date. On reflection I definitely wouldn't have spent as much as we did had we known a baby was going to arrive 6 months after strolling up the aisle, even though we didn't spend a fortune on our wedding! 

[.]

Things we decided to do were: 

• not buy anything brand new, apart from a cot mattress and a car seat. EVERYTHING else (& I do mean everything) can be bought second hand, lent by a lovely friend, or fetched from the depths of a parents attic. 
• I will give up getting acrylic nails, saving £260 a year
• Sam will quit smoking (again, and this is also for health of the kid, although he doesn't smoke in the house) saving £1000 a year
• We will reduce our telly package from XL to the lowest one. We very rarely watch any of the on demand stuff, and could easily get by with the lower package, as we don't actually watch TV that much anyway, as we tend to watch series of things on our computers! Saving circa £180 a year
• We started a joint bank account (scary!) with Santander and transferred all our household direct debits to this, as you get 1, 2 or 3% cash-back on various bills, from Internet council tax/mobile phones. I've not actually worked out how much we will get extra from this, but it is a free account so its all a plus, probably circa £200 a year for free!
• We checked to see if our electricity/gas/water was the cheapest we could get it, by using the meerkat website, and it turned out it WAS the cheapest already, but worth checking! Also make sure you submit meter readings every month so you get billed for actuals and not estimates!
• We will move. Our Brighton house is not tenable with just Sams salary and my maternity (at the moment we live with a lovely house-mate but she won't stick around with a screaming baby in the house and I don't blame her!) We've not set a date yet but we will probably move out of Brighton (needs must, alas!)
• Instead of going on an 'abroad' holiday pre baby we're going to go on a holiday with friends in Cornwall, which will save us money. (Saving probably around £600)
• I had already stopped buying excessive make-up clothes/handbags/toiletries and shoes in the run up to the wedding and this has continued, and instead I am using every last drop of every shampoo/moisturiser/foundation bottle and only buying new things when they are on sale/offer, or with foreign labels from Poundland (I love poundland) (Saving around £100 a month if I'm honest!)

So that's about it for now, I'll obviously let you know how we get on, and of any new ideas that might save a few pennies here and there! And if anyone else has any tips please do share them in the comments!