My breastfeeding experience – the first 6 weeks

In hospital Athena latched on (albeit painfully!) right away, and started getting the colostrum that about 4 different Midwives called 'liquid gold' (as if trying to persuade me it was a good thing, I'd already made it clear I wanted to breast feed!) and throughout the first night she either slept on my chest or fed from it! At this stage each time she latched on was pretty painful, and I distinctly remember looking away from her when I winced in case she could sense I was in pain (as if she could even focus her eyes, but I think I was delirious from lack of sleep!)

The next morning she wouldn't feed from the right boob, until Sam remembered the 'rugby ball' hold and we tried that (kind of under the arm, so she comes at the nipple from another direction) and it worked a treat! Once we came home the first midwife who visited showed us 'planting' which is basically getting her in position, nipple lined up with nose and then waiting for her to open up wide and literally shoving her onto the nipple swiftly! I was shocked at the speed at which she did it with but Athena started sucking away with hardly any pain! She also said to make sure that the babies belly is facing yours, not upwards, as it will help them swallow more easily. The aim is for your nipple to be pointing towards the roof of their mouth...

Once my milk came through properly on day four, the previously slightly cracked nipples started to heal and harden up and since then I've not had to use the nipple cream every day. Other positions we've used are lying down, for in bed night time feeds, her lying on my chest (i let her root around and find the nipple herself, and this 'tummy time' helps her strengthen her neck muscles. When you put her on Sam's chest she will work her way all the way up to his chin, which is impressive but very natural as its a babies instinct to seek food!

For the first two weeks I was looking for her feeding to fall into a pattern or routine, but then quickly realised that she wants food when she wants it, no routine to be had at all!! Once I embraced that, and stopped stressing inputting feed times into an app on my phone things got a lot easier! The other thing that makes it easier is having the full support of Sam, he'll get me a glass of water or cuppa if I've run out (or finished one and she's still feeding!) and if we're up having a feed in the night when he gets home from work he'll sit and massage my neck and shoulders for me, as well as telling me I'm amazing every so often, and doing a whole load of housework and cleaning!

After 3 weeks I tried expressing (using a manual pump) during Athena's longer afternoon nap, and to my surprise it wasn't that tricky, though the first 2 or 3 pumps are a bit painful each time! I got about 3oz the first time, then the next morning woke up with engorged boobs as she’d slept 6 hours which meant I filled right up, so I fed her from one and got 5oz from the other! I’m now pumping during her morning nap if I'm at home and at any other time later in the day if I'm not, especially if my boobs start leaking! The main reason for starting to express was so that Sam could share feeding, and to get her used to a bottle so that I can be away from her for more than 3 hours max at a time! We plan to get her used to taking a bottle from anyone, so babysitting will be easier for people!

I’ve now fed her at the beach, on a bench outside the shopping centre, on a train and in a few restaurants and pubs. I just always make sure that I've got a muslin or scarf to cover things up, but so far I’ve not had anyone mention it or even look interested, yet alone offended. The worst thing is finding easy boob-access dresses, as the top-pulling-up method only works if I wear a skirt, and as I only have one that fits is a rare occurrence, and I don't wear trousers so rarely wear tops!

During the night she normally wakes up around 6am, so we feed in bed for this one with us both laying on our sides facing each other (this one works for lazy TV watching on the sofa too!) and sometimes I'll sit her upright on my lap facing me and supporting her with one arm, which works well when you need to use the other arm for something! The baby carrier I have doesn't allow access to le boob, so I've not tried feeding from a sling whilst out and about yet but perhaps in the future!

2 Weeks post-partum

Our first cuddle & our first night at home

So Athena has been with us for just over two weeks now, and I can't put her down! We've gone through our first growth spurt (my poor boobs!) but have only had one real night of broken sleep so far, which was also down to the growth spurt on day 14, but since then we've gone back to one or no feeds between 1am (bedtime) and 8am, hurrah! I'll do a fuller post on our 'routine' (so to speak) soon.

Breast feeding so far hasn't been half as hard as I thought it could be, however things change so it still could get difficult in the future! I'm under no illusions there! We had a couple of day of cracked nipples and pained faces (me not her!) but then we got used to it and can pretty much do it in our sleep! (Literally!) again, I'll do another post on this in a few weeks! The biggest problem is what to wear out in public that enables me to whip a tit out to feed her! At home we're mostly topless, much to the delight/horror of the people who sit outside the pub opposite and the top deck passengers of any passing bus!

In terms of my post Partum body, the stretch marks that arrived a week and a half before she did haven't gone, which is annoying (annoying I got them in the first place after getting away with none for so long!) but to be frank I don't wander round in belly revealing clothes so if they don't go it's not too big a deal! I have an amusing X shaped one right where my belly button piercing was! I still have a belly, but it has gone down a lot since the first week, and I've not bothered to weigh myself since I had her so no idea how much I've lost, but I think the swollen legs/feet and arms probably equated to a fair bit!

 

a week old / first bath / first experience of grass (ish)

I'm able to go out and about with no problems after my c section, we first went for a walk on day 4 (I was let out of hospital on day 1) and we've tried to go out at least every other day, with the only issue being a bit of blood loss on days when I've overdone it a bit! My scar I thought was healing well but this morning I seem to have popped a stitch or something, although its hurting a lot less now that it was so perhaps something was just rubbing on it in bed, making it a bit gunky (sorry!) if it persists I'll go to the doctor to have it looked at as I don't want it to get infected! It's hard to let air get to it when you have to wear big pants so
they don't rub it!

That's about it for now, I'm working on a 'birth story' post too, but obviously Athena is my top priority so my laptop isn't on as much as it was! When I learn  to put her down for all naps and not just her long morning one it'll be on a bit more and I'll get back into a blogging routine!

I had a baby!

Meet Athena Lorelei, born on Thursday 6th June at 9.54am, weighing 7lbs14oz

We were discharged on Friday evening and have been settling in at home as a family of three! Sam has been immensely helpful in doing pretty much everything as I'm meant to be taking it easy so I don't put strain on the C-section scar, but I've got painkillers and am injecting myself daily to combat any ill-effects, and currently don't feel too bad at all! 

 Athena is amazing, I can't believe she's ours! Needless to say blogging isn't my #1 priority at the moment but I'll be back soon! 

         

Nesting, C Section & week 39 update

I have never been the sort of person who keeps a tidy house. My mother had a fridge magnet that declared:

 

and I’ve always remembered it… plus I like to live in a home that feels lived in rather than like a show-home. However for the last couple of weeks I have been obsessed with having a sort/tidy/clean of the whole house! It’s most unlike me but I've actually quite enjoyed it! I’ve tackled more or less every area of our house, and the amount of black bin bags we’ve gone through is pretty high! Sam even joined in and got rid of a load of clothes too (I’ve yet to tackle my shoe collection but however!) But I figured it’s way better to do all this before we move, and before I'm having to take it easy after a C-Section! The bathroom has been cleaned from top to bottom (including all the grouting) as has the kitchen and the whole place has been hoovered thoroughly!

I’ve also stocked the freezer up with dinners (so far 6 main meals, like curries, bolognese etc, and 3 cakes!) so that when neither of us feel like cooking when I'm home from hospital and sleep deprived we can just bung them in the microwave and make rice or something else easy to go with them! None of this is normal behaviour for me, so it is definitely the ‘nesting’ instinct taking over! Most bizarre, and I honestly didn't think it would happen until it did!

If you read my post on choosing a C-section a few weeks ago then the outcome is that it was finally agreed by a consultant. Even if one agrees then another one has to it turns out, but it would be far too convenient for them to do that on the same day, so we managed to get another appointment a week later, which resulted in another week of worry and strain… The consultant that day didn't turn up to work however, but we met with a wonderful doctor who listened (again) to all my concerns, was upset that the NHS counselling service still hadn't given me an appointment (been waiting since march!) and said that he would ‘nip up to the labour ward and find an obstetrician’ for me. Fifteen minutes later (we made awkward small talk with the medical student who sat in on our appointment) he was back, but on his own. I genuinely thought it was an outright no, but it turns out the lady who he spoke to agreed it after looking at my notes and had signed off. He ran me through how the operation works, highlighted the risks (which I could quote back to him verbatim by this point, statistics and all) and we signed the consent form! Obviously at some point after the baby arrives I'll write about my experience, but as you can imagine we were both so relieved and the date is in the diary!

Briefly, the only new symptoms I have experienced since my week 37 update is some extreme acid reflux, some slightly stronger braxton hicks type pains in week 38 and then in the final week, the absolute swelling of my feet, lower legs, arms and hands. I have tattoos on both feet and they look warped at the moment! I look elephantine! I can’t get my wedding rings off and can only wear about 2 pairs of shoes that I own. 

It’s pretty uncomfortable and I’ve been attempting to rest and put my feet up but I also didn't want to waste my last few days of ‘freedom’ sat on my bum, and have various lunch/tea dates with friends which has been lovely! My piddling/sleeping cycle has got worse and I really not getting much sleep at all because my cold means I cant breathe through my nose during the night, so I get a gunky mouth and a bunged up nose, paired with the fact that it’s getting warmer, night times are no fun at the moment! Lets hope the baby sleeps through and I can get some sleep (wishful thinking haha!)

My next post will be post-baby, so see you on the other side!

Bump update: week 37

So the last couple of weeks have been a bit of a nightmare, truth be told! On Wednesday I'll be 38 weeks and I am suffering!

After the disastrous consultant visit (I wrote about it here, and also wanted to express my thanks to those who commented and tweeted after that post) I then went further into anxious mode, until my MW appointment last Wednesday. As ever she was completely supportive, horrified that the consultant hadn't listened to what I had explained and brushed me off as a 'first time worrier', she got right on the phone to the hospital to make me another appointment with a different consultant, who I met last Monday, and who agreed (yay!) but said that it had to be signed off by a second doctor (he then helpfully gave me a prescription for some iron tablets with someone else's name on, cheers doc!) BUT I am seeing the 2nd consultant tomorrow morning, so hopefully my months of not knowing will be over!

And as for symptoms...
We went through some new symptoms (itchy body, including feet and some slight swelling in uncomfortable places) and my general tiredness levels, my MW took some blood and advised me to call the next day at 5pm, however by 10am the next morning I had already had a call from the hospital asking me to call back to discuss my results, worrying, but super quick service! SO it turns out my iron levels had dropped lower than they were last time they were checked (30 weeks, I think) even though I have been taking Feroglobin iron supplements and eating well, and the blood test that measures liver function was also low, (as recognised by the itchiness, which is very scientifically clever!) so that needs some tablets, but I said I already had consultant appointment on Monday, and could I wait and sort it all out then, the answer was yes, as long as the baby is still moving as normal (which it is, phew!) although I had been experiencing some really painful twinges all that morning.

She said it was probably just the braxton hicks getting a bit more powerful, or that I was just doing too much, or the baby was getting more confined as it grew, or a combination of all of these things. It was a pretty stressful day at work too (stupidly I was on my hands and knees scrubbing things and checking under beds ready for a butt-load of visiting VIPs) but after a 2 hour nap the pain seemed to have eased off by that night (last thurs!) and has since reduced to bearable levels and pretty much remained that way.

I've also developed some skin tags and changes to a couple of moles, mainly around my neck, a few google searches tell me this is normal and that they will go after the baby arrives, but the moles changing I am going to get checked at the Drs just in case!

Other than that, my symptoms have more or less remained the same (frequent piddling!!) but the aches have got worse, especially first thing in the morning! If it didn't take me so long to wash and dry my hair I'd move bath times to the morning but I think a warm bath before bed helps me unwind, so I'm not really willing to change my routine! I look like a decrepit old lady until at least mid day when things have eased up a little!

I am due to finish work on 23rd May (this Thursday ) and have more or less finished the handover to the person who will be managing the hotel for me in my absence, but it's going to be so strange not having to be on call 24/7 and not knowing what the hell is happening, but I'm sure I'll get over it pretty quickly!

I have been told I am having a leaving party on Tuesday too, hurrah! I'm meant to be going to a meeting (with dinner and a stay over) in Bournemouth on my last day, it'd mean I get to see all the people from the hotels in my region before being off for so long, and have a proper catch up, BUT I am inordinately worried I'll go into labour and Sam won't be there and I'll have to make someone drive me home in the middle of the night or something... I'll see how I feel the day before and decide then!

Anyway, I will keep you all posted on the yay/nay C-section meeting! Also, I'm moving about 7 weeks after the baby arrives, (blog post here on my other blog) any tips?

Maternity Clothes

 

I’ve just realised I've not really written about what I've been wearing during my pregnancy on this blog, and only on occasion on my other blog.

I’ve found it really hard to find nice maternity clothes if I'm being honest, partly because I didn’t want to spend much money on new clothes, but mainly because I genuinely didn't like much available out there! I bought three dresses from the New Look maternity range in the Christmas sales, which was long before I needed them but was a sensible thing to do on reflection! I also bought 2 dresses from ASOS in the sales, but then when I tried them on when I had a noticeable bump decided that they didn’t look right (the tulip style skirt on one just made me look like a hippo!) and sold them on eBay for a profit (hurrah!) I do still have a nice cream lace dress with the tags still on, which I couldn't resist, but have had nowhere nice enough to wear it to, so if a situation doesn't arise I'll sell that too!

My first bit of advice is to think about what you’ve already got that will work (dresses with full skirts, things that are really elasticated, flowy tops etc, and you’d be surprised at what will still fit quite far along! I’m still wearing 2 ‘normal’ skirts to work, admittedly they are ‘bodycon’ style so are stretchy, but just get worn below the bump now. Secondly, USE EBAY! consider that most of the maternity clothes that are being sold have probably only been worn for around 3 months, before their owner decides to sell them for more money for nappies…

Here's a lowdown of what I’ve bought:

• leggings x 3 (New look, Matalan (both good quality) and H&M too long and a little bit thin for £14.99!)
• vest tops: Topshop (I do not rate these AT ALL, the strappy one is too low cut and the barely cover the bump, even though I bought them in a size up from normal!)
• T shirts: a 3 pack and a single one from New look. Great quality and still fit perfectly over a 36 week bump, with room to spare! (I bought a 12 and normally wear 10/12 in Newlook sizing) I bought a long-line stripy (of course, being maternity!) top from asos which was fine in my normal size and still fits well now too.
• Maxi-Skirt: H&M via eBay. PERFECT, this is the best thing I've purchased in terms of comfort, and go-with-everything top-wise!
• Jeans: Top-shop Leigh maternity jeans (denim with little dots on, with a stretchy band and no zip) cute, comfy till about 7 months then they just got too tight to wear for long periods of time. Green jeans from New look maternity, (Stretchy side panels with a zip) same as the above jeans. I’m not sure why I even bought jeans, I never wore them pre pregnancy but somehow it seemed like a good idea! To be honest I was glad of the extra thickness when I went to Prague though! tights wouldn't have cut it in –14 temp!
• Tights: as I wear dresses or skirts to work maternity tights were vital, all mine came from H&M (in black, they don't seem to do skin toned & are still selling woolly ones!) but are VERY comfy, I bought with and without feet in packs of either 2 or 3.
• Dresses: mainly New look, a couple from topshop (naff quality again!) and midi-length tunic from Matalan.
• eBay: a few dresses, and a bundle of 4 maternity tops from various places (for about £6 inc postage!)
• Loungewear/underwear: I went to Primark, go a couple of sizes up (I am normally a 10-12, and went for 16-18 sized T shirt/PJ bottom sets in stretchy material and change into them the moment I get in the door, as the waist bands are perfect for not cutting in/pressing on my bladder! I also bought a few packs of cheapy ‘big’ pants as my old pants were getting a bit too tight for comfort, and once I'm back to my normal size (haha!) I can fling them out without guilt!

 

Topshop (sale) / Newlook T shirt & H&M Skirt / Topshop dress via EBay for £6!

Pearl Lowe at Peacocks (not maternity but stretchy!) / H&M top and skirt (top not maternity, just bigger!) / New look dress (maternity, xmas sale, and has been a work staple!)

And because I love the surroundings so much I'm not cropping this one… (Mevagissey in Cornwall)

Primark Jumper (not maternity, just big!) and Matalan leggings (rolled up because I am a short-ass) over a regular vest top from H&M that used to be longer than that but over the bump it rides up…

Where did you shop for maternity clothes? any more tips to add?

To C-section or not, that is the question…

 

I want a C section. It is something that I have been thinking about and considering since about 5 months of bumpishness. Surprisingly my mum then suggested it before I had told her I was thinking of it a few weeks later, as it turns out she had a pretty nasty experience with me, and was kept in for for a week post birth with various complications (And a surgery) even though I weighed just under 6lbs. She’s as petite as me and she said if there was an option for me to not have to go through what she did (potentially) she thinks I should take it.

MY other reasons in brief are:

• husband was almost 11’7 at birth, was two weeks overdue and after almost a 2 day labour just wouldn't come out, so was an emergency c section.
• his sister was then a c section 3 weeks early as she was over 9 lbs
• his older brother was born with a brain defect that meant he effectively lived like a 4 month old till he sadly died at 18, and although this is not genetic it still fills me with fear
• I am SO anxious that if I attempt to do it naturally I will end up having to have a C section anyway
• I do not want to go overdue, the baby is already measuring 2 weeks ahead with legs at almost full term. The consultant I saw on Friday reckons ‘7lbs’ at birth but I just do not believe him.

I am still waiting for an appointment with the ‘wellbeing’ clinic to discuss my anxieties, but have been waiting for this for 6 weeks now (good one, NHS) and the consultant basically shot me down and said ‘all first timers are anxious’ but I know most people are not to the extent that I am, and so for that reason I am going to (I think…) call him back on Tuesday to tell him I definitely want a C-section. I know it is my right to ask for one, and I also know that the Brighton hospital was told to get their rates of C sections down, hence his unwillingness to book it in when I saw him.

The few people I have mentioned it to have actually been a lot more supportive than I thought they would be, apart from one person saying ‘oh, well its okay if you don’t feel that maternal yet’ which I took to be a stupid statement and ended the conversation quick sharp. If anything, I personally feel that I will probably have more of a connection with the baby if I haven't gone through potentially 2 days of hard labour to get it out.

I have weighed up the pros and cons, I know it is ‘major surgery’ but people have them every day and survive. I have a network of people to support me afterwards and know that I can cope with the pain, as I've had my appendix out in the past (Admittedly I wasn't carting a baby/pram around right after, but I have a chunky husband to do that for me now!)

What are your thoughts on elective C sections?